Great, Jessica. This is all we need is a bunch of fat chicks walking around thinking they’re you.
That’s right, lovely readers, our own orange and sinewy Jessica Simpson has launched her own plus-sized clothing line, aptly named Jessica Simpson Denim. Already, images of thongs swallowed by enormous ass-slabs peaking from the top of Jessi-low-riders are bounding through my nightmares. This is simply going to require a new word for “camel toe,” but I can’t, for the life of me, think of a split-toed animal that’s larger than a camel. God’s funny like that.
Also, if I were a fat chick (shut up, Rob) I would be all hot and bothered that Jessica Simpson pretends she cares whether or not my thighs can fit into her pants. Plus, if I were a real fat girl, the fag-to-my-hag-gay-best-friend (”Oh my god! We’re JUST like Will & Grace!”) would set me straight and send me right back to Lane Bryant.
Thumbs down, Jess. Here’s a suggestion: Jessica Simpson’s Plus-Sized Cinnabuns for Plus-Sized Women.
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