The PEN15 Club

I was going to type out an entire history of how all of Hollywood knows that overly-Botoxed Desperate Housewives and Melrose Place star Marcia Cross is actually a big ol’ les, but I’ll instead cut and paste a short summary from DataLounge:

During her Melrose Place heyday she was outed in several glaringly obvious blind items, including one from a 1996 issue of Playboy. In the years her career was lagging people posted firsthand accounts on Data Lounge of her lesbolocity. It was such an open secret in Hollywood that news outlets thought the talk of her coming out in The Advocate was credible enough they didn’t bother to check in with her reps about it - and before her camp issued a denial and she made her uncomfortable appearance on The View, scads of hosts and guests on Sirius OutQ programming felt free to talk about how they’d known for years. When she retreated to the closet some of them, like Michaelangelo Signorile and Frank De Caro’s lesbian cohost, Doria Biddle, registered their annoyance with her denials. To this day Frank and Doria frequently rag on her about it. Then there was the ensuing strangeness about her new heterosexual dating life - ABC had been ready to pimp a story about her “dating” Mark Harelik, an actor who appeared briefly in a couple of episodes of “Desperate Housewives” to the rags and when the gay story hit she was came up with a brand new gay-faced boyfriend and fake timeline of their relationship. Michael Musto, who’d hinted about her sexuality in the past, found the whole thing distasteful and went ahead and outed her in his column after she appeared on “The View.” All caught up now?

And now it appears our Marcia is marrying this gay-faced boyfriend (whom she has been dating for a few months - in true lesbian fashion), a stockbroker named Tom. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Just when we were beginning to believe you were actually straight, you go out and pull a stunt like this. What’s next? Scientology?

I would also like to posit that having sex with Marcia Cross sounds a lot like twisting balloon animals, what with all the plastic and rubber squeaking noises.

One more piece of information. This photograph was apparently taken the night Marcia and Tom met. But isn’t a little tacky for Marcia to flirt with her soon-to-be merkin with her girlfriend standing behind her right shoulder? [See photo.]

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