The New York Times is reporting that after a six-year love affair, everyone’s favorite Central Park gay penguins have split, and one, Silo, has already found a new mate - a female SeaWorld transplant named Scrappy. According to the zookeeper, if Scrappy were a human, she’d undoubtedly be homely, Chinese, and a born again Christian. Silo says he and his new wifey “are serious sex addicts,” and “would like to, God willing, raise children some day.”
It’s reported that Silo had begun acting a lot straighter after he graduated from college a took a job in finance.
We here at the PEN15 blame March of the Penguins for this travesty, which was said to have been screened at various outdoor film events yards away from the zoo throughout the summer. Personally, nothing has ever made me want to trade in my felatio skills for a face full of pussy like Morgan Freeman’s voice droning on about the virtues of the nuclear family.
Then again, this could just be Mother Nature’s way of resetting the equilibrium after the Zellwegger/Chesney breakup. You win some; you lose some.
Perhaps the most interesting part of the story is that when the two boys were together, they had tried to incubate a rock in lieu of an egg. When that didn’t work, zookeepers substituted the rock for an egg from another couple, and the two raised the baby daughter, Tango, as their own. But it gets better: Tango has spent the last two years with another female penguin.
Holy Ann Heche this family is dysfunctional! It’s reported that the two female penguins will both be wearing tuxedoes to their wedding.
Zing!
New Love Breaks Up a 6-Year Relationship at the Zoo [NYT]
Updates:
Gawker has provided a handy chart to help you follow the maddness.
Andy at Towleroad has some good insight.
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