An eBay auction (update: dead link. See the archived PDF.) has appeared claiming that you, too, could be the mother of Vicent Gallo’s next child. The disgusting, unbelievably “drug, alcohol, and disease free” star of Brown Bunny is auctioning off his sperm with a starting bid of $1 million.
I think the listing intended to say that all of the drugs, alcohol, and diseases that come with his spooge are free. The listing also fails to mention that the sperm will be scraped from the mucus on Chloe Sevigny’s tonsils. (If you don’t get that reference, and are not at work or in a church, click here.)
Bizarrely, the seller is giving a discount to blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jews in order increase the child’s chances at being a successful actor. He’s ruling out dark-skinned mothers, even though he’s “a fan of … Derek Jeter,” and others on the impressive list of ambiguously homosexual, mixed-race celebrities. And Rosie, your role in Fiddler doesn’t give you a free pass; put away your wallet, sister.
And of course, happy bidding.
Vincent Gallo Sperm [eBay]
Nod: Jossip
Thank you for taking steps to ensure I will never, ever have another erection for the rest of my life. Brrrr…
Can’t we publish something in Gallo’s name, something that might upset some rabid Ayatollah somewhere so that a fatwa bigger than Salman Rushdie’s is put out for him? I don’t think that there’ll be anyone seeking to protect this unsavoury ‘man’. Or perhaps we can put him up as the victim on some experimental ‘vore’ fetish site?
Someone, somewhere needs to do something about this unpleasantness. I’m willing to try. Who’s with me?
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