I spent America’s biggest shopping weekend away from any mall, big-box retailer, or liquor store. I even managed to offend some big-calved townie at Amazon.com, because she was blocking the only way between me and one-click checkout. Needless to say, I didn’t get any of my holiday shopping done.
But I’m not worried anymore. 50 Cent has single-handedly solved all of my gift-giving needs by announcing his plans to release a line of sex toys and condoms, including a vibrator shaped just like him. It’s unclear whether he’s molding the toy off of his own manhood, or off of his entire body, but he’s made it certain that it will be waterproof.
That’s right. Whereas the real 50 wears a protective vest to keep him bulletproof, little 50 will wear a little life-vest to keep himself waterproof.
So no one tell Rob about my plans, because this holiday, he’s definitely getting the gift that actually keeps on giving – meaning you can shoot the sumbitch eight times and it still won’t die.
50 Cent plans condom and sex toys line [Celebrity Blog]
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