In an attempt to prove that two wrongs can make a right, semi-networks The WB and UPN are merging into a new entity - The CW - that will premiere in the fall. The CW will feature the pre-existing networks’ few successful current shows, such as Gilmore Girls, Everybody Hates Chris, Smallville and Veronica Mars.
Yesterday, Jordan was kind enough to offer solutions to fill the (corn)hole left in NBC’s gay programming by the departure of Will and Grace. Now, to celebrate the genesis of The CW, I present what should be its flagship show: Raven’s Crossing.
Raven’s Crossing is an attempt to merge the WB’s core audience of stupid teen girls with UPN’s predilection for shuck-and-jive African-American minstrel-show sitcoms. It stars Raven-Symone as Raven, a 16-year-old aspiring singer/private detective from the inner city who is bused to an upscale suburban high school. Tyra Banks plays her mother, a recovering crack addict who is only 12 years Raven’s senior.
At her new school, Raven and her best friend Dakota (Dakota Johnson) must fight racism and vampires as they struggle to conceal Superman’s true identity. Then the homeboys from outer space show up and Tyra sends somebody home. Denise Richards has a recurring role as a gym teacher. Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are credited as executive producers, and Kevin Williamson wrote the pilot. In episode 3, Dakota makes a pass at Raven. Special appearance by Chad Michael Murray’s giant nipples.
I think that about covers it - it’s the tighest 21 minutes and 32 seconds on TV. Also, I’m not sure what “The CW” tastes for, but I have a feeling it’s “Cursed Waste.”
Rival nets elope, give birth to CW [Variety]
Why is it that when I use the terms “minstrel” and “shuck-and-jive,” I get in trouble — but Rob seems to use them with impunity.
I was going to post about that this morning. Thinking that I would combine the names of the various shows on either network and describe the merged entity. When I arrived at the two websites to look at the show listings, I totally realized that I had only seen 3 or 4 of the shows that they offer. Really had no clue what some of it was about.
Heck, as long as they keep Veronica Mars around, I’m cool with it.