The PEN15 Club

We used to forgive Lindsay Lohan. We never thought she’d be the next Julianne Moore or anything, but for awhile there, she at least had Drew Barrymore potential: a confident, natural actress who’s unique yet relatable and knows her way around both a one-liner and a pratfall. Her vehicles - The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, Mean Girls - were better than you’d expect and her success seemed to be having an inverse impact on the careers of the loathsome Hilary Duff and Amanda Bynes, which was a major plus.

Now, there’s no need to recap the PR crash-and-burn that La Lohan has endured over the last year and a half. But do you remember that movie she shot last year, the one whose production she kept ruining by collapsing and showing up late? It’s called Just My Luck, it comes out May 12, and the trailer is up and…wow.

We don’t expect a movie directed by Donald Petrie (who committed How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the one film this PEN15er has ever walked out on) to actually be good - and we don’t condone the practice of judging a movie based on its trailer - but check out this pathetic premise: A fabulous young Manhattanite (Lohan) who always has incredible luck (aren’t you on her side already?) kisses a slightly poorer NYC hottie (anony-hunk Chris Pine) at a masquerade ball and, in a Freaky Friday-like swath of magical happenstance, their luck switches, with Pine growing wealthy and fabulous and Lohan, um, falling down a lot and taking a job in a bowling alley. In one scene, she apparently gets beaten up by a large black woman while in jail.

The film’s co-stars include not one but two castoffs of The O.C., Chris “Cro-Magnon” Carmack and Samaire “Mushmouth” Armstrong, along with a heavily made-up Tovah Feldshuh, who adopts a cartoon gypsy accent and asks, “Deed anyteeng unusual happen at that parrrrty?”

How does Lindsay think she’s going to support her coke habit with junk like this? If this were the ’80s, she’d be Ally Sheedy and this movie would be Maid to Order.

Just My Luck [Apple Movie Trailers]

Lindsay Lohan’s out of control [A Socialite’s Life]