If you were to tell me that I’d like “The Pump Girls,” I would assume you’re trying to get me to see the latest Chloe Sevigny movie or something.
But the truth is far, far more entertaining.
The Pump Girls is actually a pre-teen girlband made up of three diabetics. The band is so titled after the insulin pumps that they prominently display at all times. Their mission is to raise awareness of juvenile diabetes, and to lobby for more sugar-free candy vending machines. And, yes, they have a website. With pictures. (Did somebody think it’s my birthday?)
And if you’re wondering how one becomes a Pump Girl, Debbie’s bio reveals that it was her endocrinologist that told her the Pump Girls was one short. Which begs the question, what happened to the fourth Pump Girl? Some of the photos on the site show four Pump Girls, but more recent ones only show three. I’m imagining a tragic incident involving a dead battery and a plate of churros.
I know what you’re thinking: They can’t possibly sing about diabetes. But what you don’t know is that the Pump Girls can do anything they want. Just glance at the FAQ:
Q: So have The Pump Girls recorded any other CD’s?[sic]
A: They recorded a single entitled A1C in 2001. A1C refers to a medical test Type1 diabetics take to monitor their condition. The results of a hemoglobin A1C test reveal how effectively a person is managing their disease.
If A1C doesn’t whet your thirst for insulin-inspired electropop, check out some of the girls’ other tracks:
- Slumber Parties are Awkward Because I Urinate Frequently
- If I Start Shaking, I Might Be Dancing - But Call for Mom Just in Case
- The Nurse Has My Glucose
- Sometimes I Pretend It’s Heroin
- I’d be Anorexic, but It Fucks With My Blood Sugar, and
- I’m Glad I’m a Chick Because I Don’t Have to Worry About Impotence
And while those may be made up song titles, the song “We’re the Pump Girls” actually ends with the line, “More than just a toy, it’s [insulin pump] even good for boys. Not.” Game, set, match.
Dude,
You neglected to tell us that they had a picture up with Bob Dole. Certainly you could have woven his little blue friend in their somewhere.
Except, that might just be way too dirty. On second thought, good call.
According to the “history” page, they “opened for Bob Dole.” I don’t really know what that means, but I know I don’t want to get near it.
how do pen15 pumps help treat diabetes? i’ve heard of sex positivity, but that’s ridiculous!
Speaking as a diabetic with an insulin pump, I think your song titles are one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. I am still laughing. I think I might tape this post on my fridge.
Did you ever think you’d be on someone’s fridge one day? Next to an old Bizarro cartoon? You know you’re successful when…
You know pineapple can give you a quick and tasty sugar buzz and also sweetens the taste of your cum.
4 real, what happened to the 4th pump girl? that’s so destiny’s child.
It took me about ten minutes to recover from this…I gotta tell Michelle S.
this was too f*ckin funny ~ I am so going to get fired b/c of my laughing…brilliant!! America is just becoming weirder and weirder, like a living, breathing US Weekly article….