The PEN15 Club

Whitney Houston has proved that, for her, the greatest love of all is her love for sweet, sweet rock.

And now her extremely classy sister-in-law Tina Brown - you just know the starchy former editor of Talk Magazine is thrilled to share a name with her - has the photos to prove it. And she’s sold them to the Enquirer. And told a story that has unleashed a barrage of horrifying mental imagery. This is the kind of drama that proves that Tina’s brother Bobby is the stable one in the relationship. A particular highlight:

Tina told the tabloid that the sick songbird locks herself away for days in her bedroom ‘amid piles of garbage, smoking crack, using sex toys to satisfy herself and ignoring personal hygiene.’

As a result of her habit, Whitney has flouted the authority of doctors:

…Whitney would smoke crack on the way to the rehab center and then refuse to give the doctors a urine sample.

Frightened and offended crack dealers:

…Whitney went off on a bender and ended up in a crack house in a dangerous part of Atlanta…’A drug dealer had called Bobby and said, “Come get your wife, I am sick of this [bleep].”

And, best of all, terrified small children:

During her drug binges, Whitney often loses a set of false teeth she wears. She’s constantly ringing up the dentist to send her a new set which run her $6,000 a pop. Brown said Houston, sans teeth, showed up at a school one of Tina’s children attends and ’scared the kids.’

Whitney’s cautionary tale is so tragic it could persuade Natasha Lyonne herself to put down the pipe. And for those of you with disobedient children, here’s a plan for scaring them into good behavior: Just convince them that, if they’re bad, a toothless, unwashed Whitney Houston will show up at their school and start pleasuring herself with sex toys.

Bobby’s sis spills - Whitney won’t stay off drugs [The Boston Herald]