Ugh. If only I wasn’t out sick with a case of pink eye that day in the fourth grade when Sister Cords undoubtedly showed this gem of a video. Things perhaps wouldn’t have ended up this way. This might be a sports blog instead of an assfucking and Gyllenhaal worshiping blog. (You’d like it anyway.)
But after watching this film warning the young, male youth of the 1950s of homosexuality, I feel as if I’ve learned a few valuable lessons:
- “Thumbing” can also mean hitchhiking
- “Homosexual” almost always means pedophile, particularly if greasy hair, a moustache and aviator glasses are involved
- “One never knows when a homosexual is about” is so not true anymore… since the invention of the fanny pack
- There used to be homosexuals named Ralph, which is perhaps why the name went out of fashion
- Homosexuals may appear normal and “demand an intimate relationship with members of their own sex” – Demand? Oh, please. I’ve never demanded. I’ve begged, etc. But the demanding is solely owned by bossy bottoms, and these days they only account for, oh, say, 92% of all of us
- Carrying a baseball glove might get me more play
- Some priests drive Buicks
For those of you who don’t believe this clip is legit, the full-length video can be found here. I can’t wait for the modern-day remake starring Jamie Bell as the young corruptee and Wilem Dafoe as the dashing pedohomo.
Boys Beware [Internet Archive]
Boys Beware [YouTube] - Thanks, Jason!
Bear is showing his age by confiding in you lads that this brought back great memories of an afternoon in fifth grade gym class! The music, the cars, the evil homosexual — it all rings very true. Thanks for the flashback….
i remember the whole pedophiles are homosexuals in trenchcoats in alleys thing during the whole child molestation/kidnapping pop culture explosion/trend of the late ’70s. personally i think it’s a plot by all the non-strangers who are in the vast majority of cases the ones who actually molest children. what’s missing from the movie is when the kid tells his parents and the parents kick the kid out of the house for being a homo. or when the parents then rape the kid. or when the kid tells the police and the police laugh at him. this movie is so sick, but it’s just a low budget version of the 700 club. this disinformation is still out there and i’m certain some people will be watching it on youtube, etc. in an unironic manner.
It’s all about the full video. I love how “The Stranger” is wearing a tuxedo. And how Mike cannot make a basket (metaphor!) and then ends up as the next day’s headlines. Wow. What a find.
As if any self-respecting homo would wear a fanny pack!
the narrator has the funniest accent when he says the word “homo’sexual” — amusing!
priests drive buicks? Oh my GOD!!!!
Doesn’t the narrator’s voice sounds exactly like the narrator of Ed Wood’s transexual magnum opus “Glen or Glenda”? I wonder if it’s the same guy.