I don’t watch American Idol - officially - but I have to give kudos to Robbie at The Malcontent for his peerless, exhaustive chronicling of this season’s many, many lows, including corpulent homophobe (but DAY-um what a voice) Mandisa, that simpering nitwit Kellie Pickler, and dreamy Ace Young.
Following AI Malcontent-style is a lot funnier and more efficient than watching the actual show, plus you can shop online while doing it.
As for the actual outcome of this season’s contest, I think Taylor Hicks’ victory just proves that a plurality of the voting public is actually made up of female, single, fortysomething, trailer-dwelling barflies. Think Allison Janney in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Maybe they would be more accurately called the “Skoal Patrol.”
And if I see arrogant, dead-eyed Kat around Boston, I’ll be sure to shout: “Your Destiny is to lose, muthafucka!
It’s the circle of awful, Simba [The Malcontent]
I got duped into watching the finale, and it could possibly be the gayest show I have ever seen. There were power ballads, Ryan Seacrest, people dressed in matching outfits, they gave out an award for ‘best male bonding.’ Then they dragged some tone deaf twink on stage to sing with Clay Aiken (btw did you see Clay’s hair), it was all too much. Finally when you think the show can’t get any gayer out pops Dionne Warwick and then they finish w/ a duet from Dirty Dancing.
When Taylor won the camera panned into the audience and David Hasslehoff was crying! That was the money shot!
Taylor is awesome. It’s nice to see someone not “marketable” win. Maybe all the record execs will take notice and stop thinking that the only people who listen to music are tween, teens and 20 somethings.
Taylor is THE MOST all around talented idol ever.
Clay looked a lot like K.D. Lang, if you ask me.
It was the purple jacket. I swear.
i actually thought clay looked kind of cute in his new ‘do.. it took me a second to recognize him. if he would just come out it might actually do his career some good. his former fans have deserted him (and hilariously tried to sue him) over the rumors anyway, so why not court the gay boys and teen hags ?
God, I hate Taylor Hicks. He has more tics, twitches, tremors, and spasms than an entire Tourette’s ward. Every time he screams out “Whoo!” or “Soul Patrol!”, I seriously want to hit him with a shovel. Here’s hoping he fades quickly into the entertainment vapor.
I can’t understand how people can believe the ridiculous crap that’s written in the sleazy tabloids. That’s scary! Then again, I guess if you’re stupid enough to be reading tabloids in the first place…
Clay’s fans did not sue him or desert him. They are as loyal and crazily supportive as ever. Looks like he just gained a lot of new fans with that appearance too, since he’s now the most searched person on google.
Taylor seems nice. I wish him luck. He’s going to need it now that the tabloids have started in on him too.
Taylor Hicks is no better than any lounge singer in Vegas. The title of this topic says it all, Joe Cocker. I swear, I die laughing when I think that “America voted” for a Joe Cocker impersonator, spasms and twitches included. A younger generation has discovered Joe Cocker all over again. LOLOLOLOL As for me, I’ve dusted my Joe Cocker albums, enjoying them again. I prefer to hear the real thing…
yeah so really, all I have to say is I hate taylor hicks….he already has a stupid cover up album out with two songs. This is what I really hate about american idol too, I’ll give it to him he’s an okay..singer, but there are so many people out there now that are actually working hard and yet taylor hicks is all famous and woo everyone loves him [almost everyone]
Any of you who don’t think Taylor is a great singer are insane! He is America. I live in the midwest, and here we go with that, ahh, see, midwest woman…yada yada yada…but seriously, the man has talent. He may not be your cutout cookie persona of what Hollywood seems to be all about anymore, but he is the real deal. He isn’t fake, with product filled hair and the arrogance of what you usually see there. He is genuine. Look up the word. He will go far because he is “every man”. Watch and see.
As far as Clay, he is genuine too. That is why he sold his LA house and moved back to NC. He knows what is what in life, and that is not it.
He has made enough money to do what he wants which is help people and work for a better world. There should be more people like Taylor and Clay…the world would be a more peaceful place to live.
By the way…Taylor, If you are reading this, email me. I would love to talk to you!
Annie
ps. i can cook turnip greens!
Taylor…sorry, forgot the email.. polsaladannie@yahoo.com
I think Elvis sang that song…..
SOUL PATROL
Taylor Hicks sucks di@ks!!!!
TAYLOR HICKS IS A FORCE TO BE DEALT WITH IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. WHEATHER YOU LIKE HIM OR NOT HE HAS A FAN BASE ALL OVER THE WORLD ,SO THERE MUST BE SOMETHING PEOPLE SEE IN HIM LIKE AN HONEST ENTERTAINER WHO MAKES YOU FEEL GOOOOOD AND HE PUTS ON A SHOW . ISN’T THAT WHAT ENTERTAINMEMT IS ALL ABOUT ? CHET BENNETT[CBS RECORDING STUDIOS ,BIRMINGHAM,ALABAMA]
Taylor Hicks sucks!
and if anyone here thinks he is anywhere NEAR hot or sexy… your a Sicko!
he seriously does not have that good of a voice either!
And the gray hair… Whats that about!
Kathrine should have won!
she had a way better voice!
and yeah I think Taylor hicks Sucks!
I NEED Taylor’s EmAil-address!It’s Urgent one of my friends are in love with him, sure I don’t know how givin her his adress will do anything but make her jump-up and down until she’s ,like, hyped out (which takes aloot I might add) but she’s really nice and I just really want his Email address to be a good/nice(r) friend
well if ya’ll kno his email (for SURE, I don’t wanna Email no posers!) then email MWAH at maggiemoo111995@aim.com
Why on earth would anyone put their email address on here? Are you absolutely insane? I guess you people are living in a fanasty word to think Taylor Hicks would be reading this.
it’s amazing how men who are jealous with too much time on their hands pick on the guy who is wooo-ing their women all over the place…
JEALOUSY…the problem is that even on a good day you couldn’t have a woman the way taylor hicks could — women LOVE him…but they don’t love you.
The people who voted for Taylor Hicks were southern white trailer-trash. When it came time to vote, they voted for him over and over again on the phone…what else did they have to do?…these people didn’t vote on talent - they attached some kind of irrational goody-virtue to him. We’ll see if these dim-wits buy his CD…I hope American Idol does something so this kind of injustice does not happen again.