Bitches, cross your legs and get back to work!
Celebrity breeding is getting out of control. Or maybe it’s just the coverage of it. Last weekend, when Angelina Jolie delivered little Shiloh by C-section (mmm, knives; her favorite), and Gwen Stefani launched forth young Kingston after what seemed like a 17-month pregnancy (the longest since Kate Hudson’s), it seemed like we would be able to take a break from all the ovarian obsession.
But no. Mira Sorvino, ever the iconoclast (”I’ll follow up an Oscar by attempting to have chemistry with Val Kilmer!”), had her second with her much-younger man candy. And she named it Johnny. Which is totally awesome in that we’ve heard of that name before, but also kind of sucks because her first is named Mattea, and the combination of the two sounds like a male-female country duo: “Mattea ‘n Johnny, tonight at Bow-Legged Pete’s! Quarter drafts! Mechanical bull!”
Then we had to suffer through the speculation as to whether Sandra Bullock and Reese Witherspoon were sporting burgeoning baby bumps or just getting kinda fat.
Then things started to take a turn for the bizarre. Recently divorced-from-Spike Jonze Sofia Coppola announced her own knocked-upness. Expect her to deliver just in time for Marie Antoinette’s much-anticipated stateside launch!
But taking the gold in the celeb ova-lympics is none other than sad, aging Anna Nicole Smith, who apparently celebrated her recent Supreme Court validation by letting a paparazzo knock her up.
I happen to think this represents an important milestone in celeb-paparazzi relations. You can look at Anna as a pioneer. Or, you can see it as a response to a primal need - her looks have basically faded, and most of her capacity for shock value has worn off, so if he sticks around, there’ll always be someone with a camera nearby.
UPDATE: Well, goddamn, now it’s Rachel Weisz’s turn. And I didn’t even mention Britney’s Irish twins. Shudder.
Mira Sorvino has a boy [People.com]
Is Sandra Bullock pregnant? [A Socialite’s Life]
Reese Witherspoon: Pregnant again [Just Jared]
Sofia Coppola pregnant [Female First]
Anna Nicole Smith pregnant with paparazzo’s baby [San Francisco Chronicle]
I can only imagine what the nursery will look like once she gets Bobby Trendy to give it a makeover.