Watch it again, kids, because if you’re like us, seeing naked pictures of Gyllenhaal wouldn’t stiffen your nipples like this gem.
It was rumored for oh-so long. Deliciously speculated. And now, in a lengthy, canned on-air admission, the incredible shrinking Star Jones Reynolds announced that she would no longer be tormenting us from her perch on “The View.”
That’s right. Ya’ll can stop sending in the tips, because don’t think we didn’t have email alerts registered with Google to let us know when a piece of news with the words “star jones reynolds,” “quit,” “really quite sad,” and “heartfelt” hit the press. We couldn’t get home from work soon enough.
It’s been so long that I have seen “The View” that I failed to notice how iguana-like Star has become… really, quite terrestrial. While watching the above clip, I kept waiting for Sigourney Weaver to bust through the wall and launch a missile at the leathery velociraptor in the pink coat. But to no avail. Instead, only a scripted statement that was as much an apology, and the joy of watching Joy feign shock and stifle elation. In fact, I’m guessing in the weeks to come we’re really going to learn how Ms. Behar got her first name.
And just as we all begin to wonder who’s going to try to fill the giant ass marks embossed into the world’s unluckiest sofa, the plot thickens! Star has reportedly admitted to “People” that she was, indeed, fired from The View. That’s right, folks. The woman who couldn’t admit that E! fired her from the red carpet, who couldn’t admit that she had an embarrassingly botched breast lift, and who couldn’t admit her husband has yet to locate her inner-thighs, has decided to open right the fuck up about being snubbed out of a tenth season by the Barbara Walters, the good witch.
Stay tuned for a Star Jones Reynolds retrospective. It may be time to retire the PEN15 category devoted to the beastress, as it’s quite likely that we won’t be seeing her name or face for a very, very long time. Unless, of course, you pay close attention to the models in Layne Bryant ads.
Star Jones Sacked From ‘The View’ [SF Gate]
Star Jones Reynolds: ‘I was fired!’ [People]
I hate her desperately. But, to be clear: there is a difference between being “fired” and simply not having her contract renewed for a new term. If an employment contract is for a specified term and that term ends, then that’s that. (Provided that there was no option to renew or anything similar.) Being “fired,” to me, is where the employer terminates her services prior to the end of the contract (for whatever reason). Star was merely laid out to pasture….
now if only all the others would leave. i’d rather a table be host than all them - especially knockoff non-jew jew acting joy behar. okay she’s italian, but she’s a poser jew. get me the real deal. get joan rivers. then i’ll be happy. 4 joan riverses.
hah, i’m kind of sad, i was hoping for trainwreck, but she did it with class, actually, it was a very familiar speech, one that i only gave just recently myself… evil woman, she stole from my notes, is nothing sacred?
-mrb
I was hoping that, rather than announce her departure, they would just replace her one day with Flotilla DeBarge and hope no one noticed.
she looks so different now
i still like the idea of licking her eyeballs.
I can’t wait to see what comes next…I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a Christian album!
You have a great writing style!
I will miss Star as an attorney, but other than that am glad to see her go. Her princess entitlement bridezilla isn’t-my-husband-wonderful stuff was old.
Star made a huge mistake by all this publicity, but not going quietly as they had discussed. She has burned bridges with one of the two most powerful women in TV (of course Oprah is the other), and you should never ever do that!
Now can we bring Meredith back?
You have a great writing style!
I will miss Star as an attorney, but other than that am glad to see her go. Her princess entitlement bridezilla isn’t-my-husband-wonderful stuff was old.
Star made a huge mistake by all this publicity and not going quietly as they had discussed. She has burned bridges with one of the two most powerful women in TV (of course Oprah is the other), and you should never ever do that!
Now can we bring Meredith back?
Contract renewed or fired. I’ts all the same. No job. is this what the work place has come to. Kiss…. (oops sorry can’t finish the word),Work with yr enemies or get fired.