You know, it’s hard to forgive straight couples. Especially around summertime. They’re always holding hands and pretending to enjoy each other’s company in public. The men look miserable and the women look really desperate to make sure you realize they’re with the men. It annoys me every summer, but eventually I mellow out and get over it. They’re straight couples. They don’t know any better.
But now they’ve gone too far. Shelton and Brandi Koskie are a Wichita, Kansas couple in their mid-’20s. They’ve been married for a few years, and now they feel that the Lord owes them a baby. But dog garnit, copious amounts of routine missionary-position sex just haven’t done the trick.
Thanks to Shelton’s lazy swimmers, the Koskies are forced to resort to In Vitro (to read about why they think they’re too good to adopt, click here). Having just purchased a second home, however, they’re short the $20k they need to pay medical science to cook up a Baby Koskie.
And that’s where you come in. Yes, dear reader, Shelton and Brandi believe that despite all the pre-existing children dying of malnutrition, AIDS and warfare worldwide, it should be your philanthropic prerogative to make a non-tax-deductible donation to help these smug, cornfed yuppies indulge in the ultimate act of vanity: natural procreation. Of course, they’d rather use your money than make any kind of personal sacrifice (a second home!). They both deserve to be bitch-slapped by Angelina Jolie.
Thank God they’re dumb enough to have started a blog. Come on, PEN15 readers! Let’s remind them of all the baby girls abandoned in China because of their gender, or the millions of babies orphaned by AIDS in Africa! Or just make fun of Brandi’s admitted predilection for the Dave Matthews Band.
Baby or Bust [Babyorbust.metaicon.com]
Baby or Bust Blog [Minti]
This write up is worth at least three snaps in a Z-formation.
OMG. The reason why they’re not adopting is an absolute classic. Words worth their weight in gold!
OMG, I thought it was “perogative” all this time; all those years of singing that stupid Bobby Brown song have been a waste haha…
Think of the lovely couple this way– if they are as self involved as the commentary above indicates, then they would be best abusing their own creations, instead of corrupting some other child, right? Isn’t it better to not be exposed to something like that if it would lead to a life of unhapiness and sheepism? The very fact they don’t consider adoption to be an option says a little bit about…something…although i dunno what it would be just yet.
Still, if they can’t have babies together, then they aren’t really breeders are they? Hehhe…i mean they are just as useful as two dykes and a syringe of cottage cheese.
That is so ridiculous! Well Jesus said he wants me to have an four star vacation in Ibiza so I’m going to start a website and see if any christian couples donate to my cause. It really takes some balls to ask strangers to pay for your out of pocket conception costs.
Holy shit. Sometimes I think you are too hard on people but this couple is horrible. Did you catch the fact that they met while working at Old Navy?
I am absolutely FLOORED by the audacity of this couple that any usually charming and witty comments I would have, escape me.
Selfish, selfish, selfish. I don’t believe in artificial insemination. If one can’t have children naturally, it’s “god’s” plan for population control. Aren’t there enough unwanted, abused children?
I posted a comment on their website, i’m sure they’ll delete it. But I had to ask whether they would be begging for money to pay for the childcare since I don’t know any couples that actually raise their own kid…..just dump it in daycare while mommy and daddy go to work to pay for their extravagant (possessions) lifestyle.
Don’t forget their begging for the rest of the kid’s expenses: education, clothing, food, etc.
That is what it is: Begging. High-tech style.
So pathetic…..and they are allowed to marry…sad sad sad
If only Angelina Jolie had a superhero identity and went around punishing assholes like this couple. Bitch-slapped by Super Adoption Woman!
This is fucking ridiculous, begging strangers over the internet for money to try risky, expensive fertility treatments. I saw a related show on TLC or some other channel once about a woman who had really bad endometriosis, but damnit she wanted a baby! So she spent way too much money on IVF when she could have adopted a beautiful child and had double identical twins. Anyway. I love the reason that they won’t adopt, it sounds kind of like the reason the KKK exists (racial purity).
PS: Did they disable comments on their blog? I couldn’t find a place to put my comment. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough.
Damn….it’s too bad my adopted sister won’t have my dad’s “kind heart,” since evidently you can only inherit one of those genetically.
Damn….it’s too bad my adopted sister won’t have my dad’s “kind heart,” since evidently you can only inherit one of those genetically.
These people are fucking pathetic. PATHETIC!
Maybe we should have Tom Cruise recruit these guys to the church of Scientology. Then maybe they can spawn some sort of imaginary creature and keep it in a padded vacuum sealed box for the first year of its life…
What a pair of swine. The hideous part is that there are so many stupid, obnoxious morons out there giving them money. People like this need not reproduce. Actually, they needn’t adopt. Can you imagine what they would do to a child? Middle Class hell just grew an 8th circle.
just a note here…that ’second home’ total lie..i know these people..they bought a modest home in wichita a year ago…after living in a friend’s basement for almost a year.
chill out.
i agree on the fact that they should adopt but..they make a combined…45k..maybe..
they bought their’second’ home…not ‘a second home’ these are rich kids…not by any stretch of the imagination.