We’ve never heard of Lauren Herskovic (or Co-Ed Magazine) before, but we love her bosom-heaving account of running into a sweaty, shirtless, post-jog Matthew McConaughey and Jake Gyllenhaal at a Starbucks, then proceeding to have a three-way with them after hours of frolicking in Matthew’s pool.
My favorite part is when Matt and Jake strip off their swim trunks and start “swinging them wildly over their heads.”
Herskovic, bless ‘er, swears this is all true, but there are a number of holes in this story. First of all, it’s Starbucks. No shoes, no shirt, no service, even if you’re McGyllenghey. Second, does Matt even have a house in L.A.? I thought he lived in Austin full-time when not working. And third, Herskovic goes out of her way to explain that, while Matt and Jake were taking turns ravaging her in Matt’s bed, it was “totally not a Brokeback situation.”
Um, right sweetie. Now polish off that pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and pass out until it’s time for your morning shower nozzle masturbation fantasy. Thank you for proving that gays haven’t cornered the market on pathetic fanfic.
I had a threesome [Co-Ed Magazine via Datalounge]
That little part at the end I wasn’t prepared for. I read that at work and started laughing out loud and then my boss looked at me and I had to pass it off as a cough. It’s funny cause it’s soo true. Hahaha… oh and that photos is pretty nice too. I mean com’on, is he? Or isn’t he? Oh, where is the podcast? I don’t mean to be a whiny queen but I’ve listened to two from Malcontent since the last one, I’d love to hear a PEN15 podcast; I hear there is some juicy action again on the set of The View. I’m over in Japan and I need to know what’s going on in pop culture. 頼みますから！
To my loyal fans. Thank you so much for your kind words in response to my story. It is so nice to know that the gay community supports me and views me so highly. I especially liked the comments about my looks, my lack of friends, and the wonderful idea to use the shower head as a tool for masturbation. I really had never tried it before and it was just fabulous!
In regards to the story, you are right…it is not true. I actually figured that was quite obvious…I mean, who would actually think those studs would ever talk to me let alone take me back for a hot hot threesome?
But, thanks anyway for reading. And, of course, being so kind with your posts. Oh, and just so you know, I really haven’t seen any celebrities in the NY streets. But if I do, I will make sure to document it with pictures to put the gay community at ease.
The best part is, you KNOW those two are getting high together and engaging in naked bongos.