This horrifying beach shot of longtime box office poison Val Kilmer made us long for the days of Top Gun, Real Genius and Kill Me Again - you know, back when Val Kilmer was so fucking fine. Come to think of it, he held things together pretty well even through Batman Forever and that soul-deadening remake of The Island of Dr. Moreau - if you could even handle sitting through those movies long enough to get to the eye candy.
These days, on the other hand… Oh, Val. Can you at least try sucking it in a little? Or are we just past that altogether? And what’s with the hat? Are you trying to make sure you stay as pasty as you are right now?
Meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey made his semi-weekly shirtless public appearance, this time frolicking in South Beach. Perhaps he’s celebrating his forthcoming onscreen reunion with Kate Hudson in a romantic comedy that will most likely make me vomit blood after 40 minutes.
Old dude day! [Perez Hilton]
Matthew McConaughey on South Beach [Getty Images]
McConaughey, Hudson dig up ‘Fool’s Gold’ [Hollywood Reporter]
OMG. I think I broke a rib. I needed a good laugh. Thanks!
Holy shit, he looks like Mel Gibson
Thank GOD he wasn’t given a part in Brokeback Mountain. That would just be sad.
he resembles an old school douchebag
Give him a break. He’s still great to me. Beauty is only skindeep.