Science geeks everywhere creamed their jockey shorts this week when newly determined parameters for what constitutes a planet indicated that Planet Xena is a part of our solar system.
Sources reveal that Xena’s orbit often brings it tantalizingly close to its only moon, Gabrielle. And also to Home Depot.
Scientists say that Xena makes a generally peaceful neighbor to planets Pluto and Charon, but has expressed interest in adopting younger planets from far-away galaxies. Life forms visiting from other planets have found Xena inhabitable for only a short while, as its only naturally occurring food source is tofu. Xena considers its status as a legally recognized planet to be a hard-won accomplishment, and believes it is entitled to the same rights and privileges as other planets.
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