But, in all honesty, some of you are complete lunatics. Every once in a while, a filthy, depraved site like ours has to step back and examine the search terms that draw web surfers into our realm. And, frankly, we don’t always like what we see.
Here’s a list of recent searches as reported early this morning. You’ll notice at the top of the list: “Mel Gibson is right about the Jews,” which generates a link to my sarcastically titled post, “The Jews made Mel drink and drive.”
Okay, so you’re disturbed. Now, let your eyes wander down the list - but not all the way down. “Michelle Rodriguez pussy” and “Mary-Louise Parker fucked clip weeds” actually seem gentle compared to the fourth item from the bottom: “Elisabeth Hasselbeck sexy breast pics.”
I don’t do this often, but at some point you have to stand up for what you think is right. Anyone who sincerely believes this garbage, this filth, this hate speech - anyone who actually finds Elisabeth Hasselbeck sexy - is respectfully asked not to read this site again. We don’t want your traffic! Come back when you’re looking for naked pictures of Chloe Sevigny.
Published by Rob on August 1, 2006
in Celebs.
Somebody was going to have start the “Portia’s leaving Ellen for a man” rumor at some point, so it’s probably best that it’s an obviously bullshit source like The National Enquirer. The item claims that Ellen remains so spooked by her Anne Heche switch-hitting experience that she lives in constant fear of Portia ditching the hole for the pole.
Except for one thing - Portia, unlike Anne, has never been in, um, pole position. She admits she’s loved the sheilas since her teen years, so if she’s straying, it’s unlikely to be for a bloke. And it certainly won’t be for Jeremy “My missing chest hair mysteriously appeared on my formerly bald head” Piven, as the Enquirer suggests. I mean - from pussy to Piven? Is that even theoretically possible?
Funnygal’s worst nightmare: Portia’s leaving Ellen for a man! [National Enquirer]
Published by Rob on August 1, 2006
in TV.
Ah, The Comeback. It’s not just the answer to the question “What do you call Lance after Reichen pulls out early?” It’s a deliriously brilliant, completely hilarious one-season-on-HBO wonder that’s finally hitting DVD shelves.
I’ve plugged this show before, but now you have the chance to buy the entire season and watch it over and over again, as I will be doing for the next month. Lisa Kudrow plays Valerie Cherish, a washed-up ’80s sitcom star forced to take a role as dowager Aunt Sassy in a trashy laffer called Room and Bored, while simultaneously starring in a reality show of her “comeback.” Valerie is systematically degraded in the way only an over-40 TV actress can be, while maintaining a constant belief in her own dignity.
The “reality show” camera, of course, picks up Valerie’s every humiliation at the hands of frat-boy writers, her much-younger co-stars, and even that meat-hauling midget from The Amazing Race. The Comeback is so attuned to utterly human moments of nails-on-chalkboard awkwardness it makes the British Office look like Charles ‘n Charge. And Kudrow’s merciless yet humane performance - two parts Shelley Long, one part Pam Dawber, and just a dash of Lisa Whelchel - incontestably deserves the Emmy it’s up for.
The Comeback’s assessment of sitcoms, reality TV and Hollywood’s attitude toward aging women is so unsparing (and so on-the-money) that its first few episodes turned off most TV critics. It’s since been re-assessed by most as a minor classic. So hurry up and jump on the bandwagon!
The Comeback [Amazon]
