The PEN15 Club

The only thing that frustrates me more than pearl-clutching hausfraus that won’t even consider that Tom Cruise is a known homosexual are the ones that didn’t even know he was rumored to be gay in the first place. But now, when those bitches balk at my wild accusations with a, “oh, you just think everyone is gay,” I can finally point to some concrete evidence that, at the very least, there are others who think Cruise is a big ol’ fitted t-shirt wearing fag.

Along with Jason Preistly, Antonio “So Sexy” Bandares, Garth Brooks, Randy Travis, and (swallow your food) Andrea Boccelli.

Hollywood insider Paul Barresi is writing a tell-all book profiling Anthony Pellicano, the infamous Hollywood P.I. In the first chapter, which has been exclusively released on Hollywood Interrupted, Barresi recounts the story of a young porn star and escort named Big Red. In several taped interviews with Barresi and in an interrogation by Pellicano (who boasts Tom Cruise herself as a client), Red reveals that he has had sexual encounters with numerous male celebrities, most notably Tom Cruise.

We went into the back of the house where Tom Cruise was sitting on a small sofa. A mat had been spread out on the floor. Cruise, dressed in what looked like a body suit, looked so cute. Either a black or very dark navy blue body suit for wrestling. He had on a little cap thingy, but the chin strap wasn’t attached. Grinning and gloating at me, he said, ‘Strip down to your underwear and play with me for a little while.’ That’s really the only conversation we had. We played. We wrestled. He was nice to me. I mean, he let me win, then he asked me if it was okay if he could rip off my briefs and told me he would buy me a new pair.

The interesting thing about Big Red’s story is that is precisely how I imagined a sexual encounter with Tom Cruise to unfold. In fact, in an odd way, that’s much tamer than I imagined it would be. Big Red even made it out of the house alive, which is counter to the common belief that all of Cruise’s tricks are now touring the country in the Body Worlds exhibit.

I’m not assuming that Big Red’s story is 100% true, but you have to have a bit of respect for a 25-year-old kid who also claims admits to have slept with Garth Brooks. I’d sooner brag about throwing it in Wilford Brimley than disclose the time I traversed Garth’s low places. To me, it just lends credibility to the young, unnamed (and now in hiding) redhead.

Speaking of unnamed and in hiding, has anyone seen Carrot Top lately?

Hollywood Tell-All Book Exclusive: “Pellicano’s Enforcer” [Hollywood Interrupted]

Tom Cruise’s Lawyer Furious, All Over Again [Towleroad]