Just in time for Christmas, America’s cockles will be warmed by an inspiring re-telling of, according to the trailer, “the greatest disaster in college sports history.” (Huh? Like, greater than the marriage of Elisabeth and Tim Hasselbeck?) It’s called We Are Marshall, and it’s the true story of what happened after a plane crash killed an entire West Virginia college football team, and the ragtag band of misfits who carried on in place of all the dead football players, even though some wanted to (gasp!) cancel football. Perhaps, you know, out of respect for the dead.
“You gonna cancel the program?! That ain’t right!” opines a Sensitive Black Supporting Character. Imagine! A West Virginia college without a football team! Who’ll date-rape the female students?!
Luckily, Matthew McConaughey swoops in to coach the replacement team, and manages to keep his shirt on throughout the entire trailer. Ian McShane, David Strathairn and dreamy Matthew Fox take part as well.
It’s the heartwarming hybrid of The Replacements and The Sweet Hereafter you didn’t realize you’d been waiting for. And for guaranteed maximum brain-rot, it’s directed by McG, the ADD-afflcited asshat who committed the Charlie’s Angels movies.
You’ve been warned.
We Are Marshall [Apple Movie Trailers]
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