Now that Julia Roberts is pregnant again, she can go on another extended vacation and blame it on motherhood. So good for her.
I’ve always maintained that actresses use a case of the mommies as a smokescreen for dimming career prospects - I called Gwyneth out on this last year.
Since Phinneaus and Hazel, Jules has done a lot of voice-over work, made a widely panned Broadway debut opposite (sigh…) Paul Rudd, and shot a supporting role in a Mike Nichols movie with Tom Hanks, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams. Frankly, that’s not the kind of triumphant return to the business that screams, “I’m creatively fulfilled once more! Now, more spawn, and we’ll see if America still cares when I’m 45!”
In the meantime, let’s brainstorm antiquated and/or working-class British first names for her to give the baby. I suggest Thaddeus.
Julia Roberts is sperminated! [Perez Hilton]
So I have a confession to make. Not only did Rob and I eat enough over our holiday break to gain an entire Joshua Jackson, but I was also busy making a somewhat bittersweet decision. Not that any of y’all care where Rob and I are located as long as the sass flows forth bountifully, but I’d like to use my recent decision as an excuse for what may be a quiet couple of weeks for my posts on the PEN15.
I’m makin’ the move from Boston to Los Angeles in couple of weeks. Rob and I felt that one of us had to be on the forecunt of the Celebrity Skirt Burst™ phenomenon to get some first hand reporting on the latest labia about town. So I’m trading my Red Sox cap for a surfboard and high tailing it to the West Coast.
Okay, the truth is, I don’t own a Sox cap. And I probably won’t surf. And I’m not moving to LA to be on 24/7 poontroll. In fact, I’m not even all that crazy about LA (yet), and never would have even considered living there if a somewhat amazing job opportunity hadn’t grabbed me by the nuts. So I’m going to try it out. Do some advertising in the sun, and then contemplate a move back East in a few years. Maybe.
The fact of the matter is, deciding to leave Boston was the single hardest decision I’ve ever made, particularly because it means putting an uncomfortable amount of distance between me and Rob, my best friend and one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known. It’s a bit premature to get sentimental, so I’ll leave it at that for now.
I assure you that when I’m settled, The PEN15 Club will only get better because of our bi-coastal coverage. What other gay cultural criticism blog can claim such pan-American moxie? As for the podcast… well, we’ll have to work that out. Technology is a wonderful thing.
Now, which of our left coast readers is gettin’ my first drink?
Published by Rob on December 28, 2006
in Celebs and TV.
Although I’d heard that John Krasinski - the PEN15 Club poster boy for “why don’t gay guys come like that?” - had dated his Office co-star Rashida Jones before she joined the show this season, here they are hanging out in real life together, so who knows what the current status is.
They’re certainly cute together, but Rashida (daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton, for maximum genetic radness) sounds like a bit of a roundheel: she dated SNL’s adorable Seth Meyers (who totally pings to us, but whatever) and apparently has been engaged not only to music producer Mark Ronson but also to Tobey Maguire (!).
It’s okay, though. Now that Krasinski-fever seems to be sweeping the nation (George Clooney has cast him his next directorial project - can invites to “bachelor getaways” on Lake Como be far off?), we’ve turned our attention to Jason Segel of How I Met Your Mother as the hot new Tall Drink of Sitcom Water That Needs to Be Inside Us Right Now. Freaks & Geeks fans will say they saw him first, but for me, I’m pretty sure it was his Les Miserables duet with Neil Patrick Harris that did it.
Real-life ‘Office’ romance [JustJared]
Confrontation - How I Met Your Mother [YouTube]
Sorry for the yuletide silence, but we’ve been too busy sitting on our parents’ couches and developing bigger, better, newer rolls of fat in celebration of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. Any more butterfat, and we’ll be as shiny as Nicole Kidman. Or as obese as Donald Trump can’t stop reminding everyone that Rosie is. (Aren’t you comforted by the fact that comedians on talk shows can no longer make fun of arrogant, toupeed blowhards without being subjected to a firestorm of homophobic and misogynist logorrhea?).
Whatever. We know you bitches were too busy contributing to Dreamgirls’ torrid box office take (and we don’t mean “torrid” as in the store for fashionable young fattes). Isn’t Beyonce seeming more and more, shall we say, “touched in the head” with every interview? I love her sob story of how she forced herself to lose 20 pounds for the role, because Motown was really all about heroin chic.
If you like, tide yourself over by reading a bit of me at Pajiba, which we love. Merry post-Xmas!
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban spend Christmas in Australia [Celebitchy]
Rosie O’Donnell compares Donald Trump to a ‘pimp’ [People]
‘Dreamgirls’ daily box office [Box Office Mojo]
Notes on a Scandal [Pajiba]
When someone’s principle claim to fame is writhing on a sports car, with big gigantic ’80s hair, in a Whitesnake video, should it come as a surprise that they have a cocaine problem? Or should it come as a surprise that they’re only entering rehab now, in A.D. 2006?
Does anyone else think it’s a potential sign of the apocalypse that there are now 45-year-old women named Tawny? Or that the AP is being ironic by referring to her as an “actress” in the most generic headline ever given any entertainment news story anywhere?
Actress enters drug rehab program [AP via Yahoo!]
We love Egotastic! We link to it a lot. It was the first site that showed us Lindsay Lohan’s limo-exiting cooter in all its starving glory (we realize they didn’t break that photo, it just happens to be where I stumbled upon it first). But lately, the site’s Crusade-like passion for showing us every imaginable celebrity nipple is leaving us both impressed and a little nauseated.
Truth be told, nipple slips are yesterday’s news. Unless there are beef curtains involved, it’s hard to bat an eyelash at them (a reality that the site itself happily acknowledges). And this item about Amy Poehler, of all people, sunbathing topless is at least novel.
But what fascinates me about all the T&A&V obsession is how the super-gay arena of celebrity gossiping has disappeared so far down the rabbit hole (so to speak) of obsessive interest in the female body. Which is usually the mark of, well, straight men. (Bear in mind, I know nothing about the editors of Egotastic! or their hole-preferences, I’m just using them as an example.)
Anyway….boobs. They’re crazy.
Oh look, it’s Britney Spears’ nipples…whatever [Egotastic!]
Amy Poehler topless pictures [Egotastic!]
The city of New York can finally breathe a collective sigh of relief: Asstress Natasha Lyonne turned herself in today on charges dating back to 2004 of trespassing, mischief, harassment, and threatening to molest her neighbor’s dog. The same incident resulted in an eviction by her landlord, Michael Rappaport, who delivered the notice with failed humor, not surprisingly.
Frankly, we’re impressed that Lyonne is still alive after last year’s debacle where she went missing and showed up days later with a collapsed lung and a case of the Hep-C. Authorities had followed her track marks for days before finding the homeless performer end-to-end on a piece of spaghetti with a Doberman pinscher. It’s good to know that she’s now well enough to pull herself together and face the music for - it bears repeating - threatening to molest a dog.
Natasha, I have so many questions for you! Was it national Do Something That Would Even Make Courtney Love Blush day? Does black tar heroin make you sexually attracted to things that smell like kennel? What kind of dog was it? Because if it was a Weimaraner , I can kind of see where you’re coming from. They’re just so pretty…
We really do hope you’re able to make a full recovery from the gallimaufry of things that ail you, because “But I’m a Cheerleader” is definitely in our top-10 favorite gay interest films of all time and, uh, it would be terrible to die while being known only as “‘American Pie’ actress” and “that girl who threatened to fuck a dog.”
‘American Pie’ actress turns herself in at court [CNN]
‘American Pie’ star’s fight for life [MSNBC]
Gosh, I didn’t really think anyone liked Babel this much. And check out all the stars whose Hollywood Foreign Press Association payola teams worked extra hard, scoring them more than one nomination in a single year: Clint Eastwood, Leonardo DiCaprio, Toni Collette, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Emily Blunt, Annette Bening. Christ, Helen Mirren has three fucking nominations, including two in the Best Actress in a TV Movie category. Granted, everyone loves her, but can we quit lady-fellating the Teaching Mrs. Tingle star and come up for air for just one second?
Also, any organization that nominates Beyonce Knowles for an acting award (in the same category as Meryl Streep, no less) isn’t worth the Mrs. Dalloway-like effort I’ll surely be putting into my annual Korbel-swilling Golden Globe party come January. We’ve seen Dreamgirls, and we can’t help but resent Ms. Knowles’ lox-like inability to sink her teeth into the rich camp opportunity of playing a Diana Ross composite. Kim Cattrall gave a livelier performance during the scenes in Mannequin where she’s actually a mannequin.
And they nominated Bobby for Best Drama, which…how to put this politely…um…no.
I love how the HFPA Web site posts the nominations blog-style, as if it’s just another piece of operational news for them, as if they existed year-round as a functional organization that does anything but receive “complimentary” watches from Sharon Stone.
64th Annual Golden Globe Nominations [Hollywood Foreign Press Association]
Dear Leatherface,
I don’t really have the right to talk because the only thing I’ve ever owned by Dolce & Gabbana was a well-used print ad from a 1998 copy of “Out” magazine, which my 16-year-old self kept folded up in the glove compartment of his Oldsmobile. It was there to remind me that there were marketers who actually valued the gay community, and that one day I might be able to form the pelvic ‘vee’ that is so necessary for owning a pair of your lovely, low-rise dungarees.
But today, I read on the interweb that you don’t think gay couples make good parents. In fact, you even used the same rhetoric employed by what we here in the U.S. like to call the Radical Right: the whole idea that children need to have a mother and a father in order to be healthy and, uh, not self-loathing.
Now don’t get me wrong. It’s fine with me that your incredible ego drives you to desire a child that is the “fruit of [your] sperm” rather than those low-rent pretend children born in fly-over countries, but don’t you think that if your head gets any bigger, you’re going to have a hard time fitting it through the neck-hole of your own clothing?
Here’s the deal: fuck you. You may have some terrible, skewed, Brian Kinney-esque impression of the gay community, but not all of us spent our young adulthoods blowing rails of coke off anonymous asses in bathroom stalls and thinking that “open” relationships are more healthy than monogamous ones. Some of us do aspire to create a family with our partner, and nurture a child in the same loving atmosphere that we were brought up by our boring, hetero parents. I applaud you for recognizing that children need a solid family for a healthy upbringing, but I think you’re kind of a cock for thinking that’s only attainable for straights.
Do you really think it’ll actually be healthier for your child if he had to stay with Mommy while Daddy went to Ibiza the man he really loves? Gimme a freakin’ break.
The gays are going to boycott you now. And I don’t blame them. No more pink dollar for you! But good luck making a new line of 40×30 jeans to fit your new best friends in the Bible belt.
Love,
Jordan
Gay designer Gabbana is against same sex parents [Daily Mail] via Towleroad
We here at The Club were just giddy when Thomas Dekker’s character, Zach, the adorable outcast on NBC’s “Heroes,” outed himself in an episode that aired about a month ago. It was only a matter of time; they had been hinting at his sexuality all season, and the show’s writers had confirmed his sexuality in various interviews.
But now it’s being reported that Zach’s expressed sexuality will be reneged when the show comes back in January. Perhaps he had a latent heterosexualizing power that he inadvertently turned on himself during an exercise in self-exploration. Or that the writers just didn’t find the power to bedazzle an old Ramones t-shirt in mere seconds compelling enough to pull the character through the rest of the season.
It’s unclear whether it’s NBC or Dekker’s representation is responsible for luring the lad back into the closet, but one thing’s for certain: everyone feels that having a gay character on a TV drama about embracing individuality and uniqueness is just redundant. Fuckers.
Somewhere, Dominic Monaghan and Kyle KY feel slightly more normal.
Heroes Straightens Up Its Gay Character [AfterElton]
