Dear Leatherface,
I don’t really have the right to talk because the only thing I’ve ever owned by Dolce & Gabbana was a well-used print ad from a 1998 copy of “Out” magazine, which my 16-year-old self kept folded up in the glove compartment of his Oldsmobile. It was there to remind me that there were marketers who actually valued the gay community, and that one day I might be able to form the pelvic ‘vee’ that is so necessary for owning a pair of your lovely, low-rise dungarees.
But today, I read on the interweb that you don’t think gay couples make good parents. In fact, you even used the same rhetoric employed by what we here in the U.S. like to call the Radical Right: the whole idea that children need to have a mother and a father in order to be healthy and, uh, not self-loathing.
Now don’t get me wrong. It’s fine with me that your incredible ego drives you to desire a child that is the “fruit of [your] sperm” rather than those low-rent pretend children born in fly-over countries, but don’t you think that if your head gets any bigger, you’re going to have a hard time fitting it through the neck-hole of your own clothing?
Here’s the deal: fuck you. You may have some terrible, skewed, Brian Kinney-esque impression of the gay community, but not all of us spent our young adulthoods blowing rails of coke off anonymous asses in bathroom stalls and thinking that “open” relationships are more healthy than monogamous ones. Some of us do aspire to create a family with our partner, and nurture a child in the same loving atmosphere that we were brought up by our boring, hetero parents. I applaud you for recognizing that children need a solid family for a healthy upbringing, but I think you’re kind of a cock for thinking that’s only attainable for straights.
Do you really think it’ll actually be healthier for your child if he had to stay with Mommy while Daddy went to Ibiza the man he really loves? Gimme a freakin’ break.
The gays are going to boycott you now. And I don’t blame them. No more pink dollar for you! But good luck making a new line of 40×30 jeans to fit your new best friends in the Bible belt.
Love,
Jordan
Gay designer Gabbana is against same sex parents [Daily Mail] via Towleroad
Good for you, Jordan! Well put. These celebrities who are just a ton out of touch with how things work in the real world need to think before they speak.
Kill, Jordan, kill!
Seriously though, there’s nothing more destructive than something like this that gives the fundies something to point at and say “See, even some of the queers know they can’t be good parents.”
‘Fruit of sperm’ LOL… Oh Stefano!
Fuck him! My partner and I have raised a child and he’s perfect and heterosexual, which he could be whatever he is without pressure from us.
I’ll never by anything D&G again.
He should be sterilized.
BUY anything BUY. I wish I would proofread.
Preach!
That’s like saying a single mom or a single dad cannot be everything their child needs. Dickhead.
I know we all love vitriolic rants and drama, but was what he said really that bad? Presumably he thinks that it’s okay for gay people to be parents in some sense, because he plans on becoming one himself.
It seems to me as though his comment had more to do with the idea that children should have a relationship with both biological parents if possible, which is debatable but not necessarily a sign of sub-rational anti-gay sentiment. I only know a few lesbian couples with kids but they all wanted them to have relationships with their biological fathers.
I don’t think many gay parents would disagree that that kind of relationship is a good thing. If they think the other biological parent is so horrible that they should be excluded then why did they choose them? Adoption is different of course, but it’s unclear what Gabbana’s position is there, particularly since people like him tend to have random opinions and are easily led along by interviewers.
Not to be completely contrary, but a few things come to mind here:
1. It seems a salt lick, not even a grain of the stuff, should be kept on hand when reading any article with a gay subtext (anything written in the “Dallas Voice”, for example) in the last few weeks.
2. Like all things, money and lots of it can allow you to consider options that won’t be available to most average people- Gabbana has it, therefor conceiving a child is a possible option for him.
2. Gabbana’s desire to have a kid doesn’t dispell the notion that gays can be parents. Yes, gays can and do parent every day, and actual children, not just small yippy dogs.
3. The article mentions his new partner. Why bring this up? Were he to conceive with the female friend, do you think the partner would not have any role with the child? Step parents know this battle well.
4. If as a gay man you have a positive relationship with your mother, the lack of a maternal figure isn’t so easily pushed aside (lesbians have a clear advantage her) Biology stops us from “accidental” kids, so we have to think, plan, and ponder this as a real dilemma.
5. With #3 and #4 in mind, perhaps Gabbana’s opinion is based on the question of having a child with or without an active relationship to the surrogate mom? Even in “open” adoptions, this comes up for all families who go that route, and those lines vary by situation.
Do I disagree with the broader statement Gabbana makes about gay parents? Yes. But, I think his answer speaks to the choices his desired approach would bring, and looking from that viewpoint, I don’t see it as a condemnation of gay parents as a whole.
Lacking a fashion empire to pay the way to fertilization, gestation, not to mention college, for me, raising a rugrat or two of my own isn’t out of the cards. However, of I want to get there, I do know it won’t be the last time these issues will cross my mind…
Jesus, Bill, is this your Law School Entrance Exam?