Archive for February, 2007

And I am telling you I’m not going to that queen for fashion advice

Published by Rob on February 27, 2007 in Bitches, Career Suicide and Celebs. 1 Comment

jhud.jpgA day after being raked over the red carpet coals by fashion critics for her blah cocoa-colored gown and absurd tinfoil shrug, Jennifer Hudson has denounced the Oscar de la Renta gown, calling it her only Oscar night regret. Dlisted interprets this as a slap in the face to Vogue editor/soul queen Andre Leon Talley, who apparently strong-armed J Hud into wearing the outfit, then kept fawningly referring to her as “the new people’s princess!” in his cringe-inducing ABC red carpet preshow.

One can imagine Talley’s response to the Hudson diss:

Oooooh, girleena! I do not expect no people’s princess to be readin’ me like that! I caught a glimpse of Anika Noni Rose at the Governor’s Ball, and let me tell you, she is the new Glamazona, High Fashion Empress of Spaceship Earth!

I think he looks and sounds like what might happen if Al swallowed Star.

Blame Andre [DListed]

Champagne hangovers, caviar screams

Published by Rob on February 26, 2007 in Celebs and Oscar Fever. 4 Comments

450bad141.jpgSo out of the 12 categories I predicted, I was only right about 8. Meh.

Ellen presided over a bland show that was, as usual, padded with all the filler that everyone has complained about since the infancy of the telecast. Former Paramount head Sherry Lansing’s “humanitarian” acceptance speech showed why she never made it as an actress.

Why bring in Pilobolus if you’re going to use them for a total of 30 seconds? And the mouth-orchestra sound effect people were cool, but come on. I want to see more starlets in terrible dresses mispronouncing people’s names! More shots of a deeply uncomfortable-looking Eddie Murphy! More Mark Wahlberg!

My personal highlights… Continue reading ‘Champagne hangovers, caviar screams’

And the Oscar goes to… “trashed”

Published by Rob on February 23, 2007 in Celebs, Films and Oscar Fever. 1 Comment

2007-02-22t212822z_01_nootr_rtridsp_2_ouken-uk-oscars-scorsese.jpgThe headline, of course, refers to the category of “What will Rob’s physical/mental state be at the end of Oscar night?” In the meantime, here’s who I think is winning, along with my preferences - ’cause dammit, I took the time to see everything (even Venus and Letters from Iwo Jima, and I’m willing to bet even Clint Eastwood’s and Peter O’Toole’s grandchildren didn’t even pay to see those).

I’m not typing out all the damn nominees. If you need it for reference, it’s here.

For further Oscar reading, I highly recommend visiting the Film Experience blog, where Nathaniel has done a comprehensive job of Smart Gay Fanboy Oscar coverage - including a “visit” from tight-grinned Oscar bridesmaid Annette Bening!

Best Picture

Prediction: In years where there’s no clear frontrunner, I find that it’s safest to bet on the movie I liked the least. This year, that’s Little Miss Sunshine.
Preference: The Depaaaahted

Best Director

Prediction: They can’t deny Scorsese again. If they do, I can picture Joe Pesci sticking Eastwood’s head in a vise and gouging out his eye, like in Casino.
Preference: Marty.

Best Actor

Prediction: Forest Whitaker. Although everyone’s going to be a little sad for one-foot-in-the-grave Peter O’Toole on the night of his eighth loss.
Preference: What a weak fucking category this year. Gosling rocked, but if he wins, he’ll probably make some self-righteous speech about Darfur. Do I lose my snob card if I admit that I thought Will Smith was brilliant?

Actress

Prediction: Helen Mirren. She’s such a sure thing that Dame Judi isn’t even showing up.
Preference: Nothing beats Kate Winslet’s bleacher freakout in Little Children.

Continue reading ‘And the Oscar goes to… “trashed”’

Marcia un-Crossed

Published by Rob on February 21, 2007 in Celebs and TV. 2 Comments

mcross.jpgHeterosexual actress Marcia Cross welcomed twin baby girls into the world yesterday. And check out the names: Savannah and Eden! If Julia Roberts erred on the Dickensian side by naming her twins Phinneaus and Hazel, Marcia seems to want to send the girls straight from Gymboree to the stripper pole.

We do, however, admire the elderly mom’s work ethic: Remember those climactic scenes from last week’s Desperate Housewives, when Dixie Carter tried to poison Bree and then drown her? They were shot in Marcia’s very own bedroom. The fact that the writers had to wrap up Bree’s season storyline in order to accommodate Marcia’s wombfruit sucks a little bit, as it means less screentime for Carter and the delectably nutty Valerie Mahaffey. But on the bright side, it also means we get to spend less time looking at Kyle MacLachlan’s hair.

Exclusive: Marcia Cross welcomes twin girls [People]

Dancing with the Scars

Published by Jordan on February 21, 2007 in Bitches, Celebs and TV. 4 Comments

heather mills legPaul McCartney’s single-legged ex-wife Heather Mills is going to be on next season’s “Dancing with the Stars.” Our prediction is that she’ll be the first contestant ever to be eliminated in the Hokey Pokey round.

“The song told me to put my left leg in, and I just panicked!” Mills will claim.

Mills to compete on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ [CNN]

Win a date with the lad Vanderbilt

Published by Jordan on February 20, 2007 in AC:Crazy, Celebs, News and Potpourri. 4 Comments

andiecooper$21,000 can buy you a bare bones Volvo. It can buy 140 iPod nanos. It can even buy you 1,050 premium bedazzlers. Or, if you’re one lucky British homosexualist, it can buy you the world’s most awkward gay date. And if you ask me, if the date is meant to make notorious vagina connoisseur Anderson Cooper sweat bullets in his powder pink necktie, then it might just be worth giving up the Volvo.

Yet someone in the Cooper Camp seemed to forget that auctioning off a date with one of America’s most sought after silver-haired bottoms (right after Richard Gere and right before Tim Gunn) at an AIDS benefit, might draw the attention of some, uh, wealthy gays.

Well, British bachelor Oliver Hicks (could he have been named anything else?!) has won Andie’s arm for an evening of white knuckles, clenched teeth, and buttered buns. And also dinner.

Can you imagine how the dinner (or, as I’ve imagined it, brunch) conversation will go? I can. And will:

Anderson: So, you, like… uhh… supporting AIDS?

Oliver: Yes, um, it’s killed nearly a dozen of my friends. As you know…

Anderson: NO! No I don’t know. Don’t know what you’re talking about. I can only, uh, imagine. Oh my god, they have sweet potato fries here.

Oliver: Yeah, I doubt they serve them at brunch through. How did you know I wanted our date to be a brunch date anyway?

Anderson: Well, when else would we have… NO! I mean, uh, one of my PAs is gay. He suggested you might be most comfortable at brunch. Personally, I’m a lunch date kinda guy myself. I find it puts the ladies at ease. And there’s nothing like a Mich Ultra at lunchtime to put my nerves at ease before a broadcast.

Oliver: Oh, a beer man too, eh?

Anderson: Oh yes. Mich Ultra, Woodchuck Cider… there’s this drinking hole in Chelsea that has this wonderful ale with actual blueberries floating in it. Oh, listen to me go on. Hey, you have nice facial hair. Do you groom it to that length or does it just come in naturally like that?

Oliver: We should get out of here, shouldn’t we?

Anderson: Oh, so it comes in naturally?

Anderson Cooper Inadvertently Outed by Charity Auction [Socialite’s Life]

Everybody say “ho!”

Published by Rob on February 16, 2007 in Bitches, Career Suicide, Celebs and Films. 0 Comments

factory-girl-poster.jpgAnd USA Today wins the award for Most Unfortunate Headline of the week.

For those who’ve seen Factory Girl (my apologies if you have - it’s dreadful), didn’t Sienna’s two-tone hair, buck teeth and raccoon eyes call to mind none other than Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank? Every time Sienna-as-Edie would throw one of her amphetamine-induced tantrums, I kept picturing Jerri running into a large public gathering and screaming, “I got somethin’ to say!”

Hayden Christensen’s performance as the Bob Dylan manque will lose him many future roles. He needs to exclusively play petulant, unsympathetic Ivy League undergrads and retire by 30.

What’s a two-letter word for Sienna Miller? [USA Today]

PEN15 Drippings: Post-Valentine’s Day Catch-Up Edition

Published by Rob on February 15, 2007 in Career Suicide, Celebs and Films. 0 Comments

ryan_seacrest.jpgJennifer Holliday emerges from her Harlem shut-in pad to sing “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” on Oscar night…exclusively on the E! pre-show. Sad. I can’t wait to see Seacrest struggle to resist his urge to cream all over the red carpet. [L.A. Times]

Ben Affleck’s gone straight to DVD! Douche chill! [Amazon]

Troglodyte asshat Tim Hardaway unwittingly opens up an interesting discussion of what it’s like to be a gay professional athlete. [Towleroad]

Somebody put Todd Haynes’ amazing, illegal Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story on line. Watch it before Karen’s estate gets its knickers in a twist and has it taken down. [YouTube]

This is old news, but truly: Can you get enough of Sharon Stone? [LiveLeak]

Do you like my dead body?

Published by Rob on February 8, 2007 in Celebs and News. 2 Comments

vertannanicolegi.jpgOkay, folks. This is really sad. Fabulous Anna Nicole Smith has left us for the great Guess jeans ad in the sky. I’m already in mourning - Anna was an opportunist and an addict, but she was also clearly a simple woman who was manipulated by a lot of unsavory people. Her recent, tragic experience of losing a son while gaining a daughter is the stuff of Greek tragedy - Trimspa Becomes Electra.

I wonder if Kimmy will get custody of Sugar Pie. And I can’t wait to see what Bobby Trendy does with the funeral.

Anna Nicole Smith dies after collapsing in hotel [CNN]

PEN15 Drippings: 2/7/07

Published by Rob on February 7, 2007 in Celebs, Films and News. 0 Comments

drewlondon01.jpg Drew Barrymore and Zach Braff each seem to have taken a, shall we say, comprehensive approach to dating other celebrities. So it was only a matter of time before they roundheeled their way to each other. You know they had a romantic comedy-style meet-cute in which Drew was carrying a cafeteria tray, and Zach slammed into her because his nose was stuck in a book of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Drew looked adorable covered in mashed potatoes and ham steak, and it was love. [Page Six]

Ghost Rider is the most expensive film ever to not pre-screen for critics?! But I thought Nicolas Cage had an unerring eye for quality projects! And that the writer-director of Daredevil would really find his voice with this one. [NY Post]

John Amaechi is one gay guy for whom “laying up” doesn’t mean fucking someone who makes more money than you do. [OutSports]