In the most shocking celebrity revelation since Richard Chamberlain came out of the closet, unemployed faghag Star Jones Reynolds has finally admitted that her drastic weight loss was due to gastric bypass surgery. And not just, I dunno, the cardiovascular benefits that come from chasing down a bargain.
Explaining her decision (in an essay for Glamour) to lie about the weight loss, Star evasively admits that she was “intentionally evasive.” She laments that she had gone “from full-figured to morbidly obese,” and claims that, in 2005, hubby Big Gay Al urged her to go into therapy.
And perhaps. She thought. That undergoing the surgery. Would make her. More desirable. To him. You know, sexually. Cough.
Anyway, Star’s decision to “come clean” at this juncture surely has something to do with the public’s embrace of a legitimate fattie, Rosie O’Donnell, following her own firing from The View. And the recent news that Barbara is likely to add the proudly zaftig Sherri Shepherd to the panel has likely made Star’s blood boil - like chicken gravy left too long on the stove on a hot Alabama summer day.
Don’t worry, Star. No matter how obscure and irrelevant you become, you’ll always be our favorite ambulance-chasing, shoe-shilling, product-placing, fur-wearing, fag-marrying fat girl.
Star Jones admits gastric-bypass surgery [ABC News]
Here I was hot to send the AP link to you, when I should have known the SJR early alert system would have picked up on it faster than, well, a SJR story on the PEN15 club web site…
These revelations usually come in threes- I’ll wager Anderson Cooper will do something ambiguous and Brittany Spears will perform some act of child endangerment…
exactly how does having her own television talk show qualify her as ‘unemployed’?….she’s been on the court-tv payroll for over a year while in developement….