The Emmys just ended seconds ago, so I’m gonna rattle off a list of observations:
1.) Did Ryan Seacrest think that pointing out who did Eva Longoria’s hair and wardrobe would make him seem less gay?
2.) Could the FOX product placement have been any more blatant? Having Kelsey “I marry a new blonde every 6 months” Grammer and Patty “Thank you Jesus and Terry Schiavo” Heaton present best comedy was a real low point. Also, the pathetically clumsy “We know about new media and user-generated content!” through-line was laughable - see the clips of best comedy nominees broadcast on iPhones.
3.) I dug the fact that the Roots tribute was notably OJ-free.
4.) James Spader took the Candice Bergen honorary citation for Most Ashamed Winner.
5.) The Ricky Gervais victory was a nice surprise, in that it prevented Tony Shalhoub from having to be as ashamed as Spader.
6.) America Ferrera’s “I’m just a girl with a dream” shtick is getting really old. She’s officially the Hilary Swank of primetime television.
7.) I realize that the networks are terrified of FCC fines, but couldn’t they have found a more elegant way to censor content than the awkward cut to the mirrorball closeup with muted sound? This happened three times: During Ray Romano’s opening bit (if you’re bleeping Ray Romano, you’ve officially reverted to Puritanism), Katherine Heigl’s “Oh shit!” and Sally Field’s bizarre, discursive anti-war (?) diatribe. (We’re assuming it was anti, as she mostly just repeated the word “war,” like, four times.)
8.) Nothing against Jaime Pressly, but Jenna Fischer’s loss is a bizarre miscarriage of justice.
9.) Jeremy Piven’s hairpiece needs to be stopped.
10.) The Jersey Boys need to be stopped.
11.) Tony Bennett needs to be stopped.
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