Barack Obama severs ties with his nutty ex-pastor by talking for, like, a really long time about his church. Like, a really long time. And this PEN15er takes comfort in the knowledge that when Hillary Clinton shows up at Senate prayer breakfasts, it’s for purely cynical, political purposes. [You Tube]
John Krasinski give the cutest straight-guy Advocate interview ever. No seriously, ever. [The Advocate]
Another awful, shocking death of someone who made a lasting contribution to what passes for mainstream queer cinema. How excellent a filmmaker was Anthony Minghella? He briefly turned Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas into sex symbols. He basically gave us Jude Law (which, until a couple years ago, was a good thing). And his The Talented Mr. Ripley is the main reason why I secretly think Matt Damon is the best movie actor of his generation. [Variety]
Gorgeous hunk o’ Australian man-meat Hugh Jackman’s CBS producing effort, the super-faggy Viva Laughlin, gets axed after a pathetic two episodes. Hugh presumably seeks comfort in the jowls of his grandma-wife. [Zap2it]
Jakey’s Rendition gets an opening weekend to match its pathetic reviews, as audiences flock to watch Josh Hartnett fight vampires instead. Also getting trounced were two superb, tough-to-market movies, Gone Baby Gone and Things We Lost in the Fire. [Box Office Mojo]
“Ryan Gosling enters rehab” in 10, 9, 8… [Variety]
Marie Osmond collapses live on Dancing With the Stars. Datalounge explodes. [Datalounge]
If I hear one more thing about David and Victoria motherfucking Beckham - the U.K.’s crassest, most ferret-faced nouveau riche exports - I will hunt them down and suffocate them with one of Posh’s Joan Collins-style wide-brimmed hats. And this fashion victim twat has the nerve to call out Americans on our shitty style. She’s not wrong, but people who live in glass Juicy Couture sweats shouldn’t throw stones. Or something. [TMZ]
Revolta “addresses” those longstanding gay “rumors,” just in time for his big-screen drag debut. [NY Times]
Frathouse dudebro slash New NBC Honcho Ben Silverman announces his douchebaggery by hiring Isaiah Washington. The good news is that it’s for no less doomed a project than that Bionic Woman remake. [Variety]
Veronica Mars had probably its best episode of the season last night, and Andy Towle caps what was arguably the best part. [Towleroad]
Fireplug-like Christian woman becomes pregnant with her 17th (!) blessing from the Lord. Datalounge explodes. [Datalounge]
On the other side of the political spectrum, if not the scale, Michael Moore becomes the surprise late entry in the summer movie spurt contest. [Variety]
Ensuring that Jessica Simpson’s enormous jugs don’t steal the spotlight at the Costume Institute Gala, Julianne Moore dresses for the title role in Here’s to the Ladies Who Drink Their Lunch: The Elaine Stritch Story. [Go Fug Yourself]
Oh my God, you guys, we’ve been gone for so long and missed so much…please indulge me in a little catch-up…
In the wake of the Don Imus scandal, doesn’t it seem doubly amiss that Isaiah Washington - who not only used a comparably offensive slur, but did it while getting into a fistfight with a co-worker - still has a job at Grey’s Anatomy? Adding insult to injury, the show just won a GLAAD Media Award. Along with Jennifer Aniston (for starring in The Object of My Affection nine years ago?). Thanks for having your priorities straight, GLAAD. I’m sure the argument is that sucking up to big names - regardless of their relevance to actual gay issues - raises the visibility of the fight for equality overall. I, however, call it starfucking bullshit. [GLAAD.org]
Speaking of Grey’s, its upcoming Kate Walsh-centered spinoff features the stunning Chris Lowell, who was playing the adorable Piz on Veronica Mars until he mysteriously disappeared midseason. Oh, and at some point, he apparently ends up in the hospital wearing swim trunks and carrying a surfboard. [JustJared]
Edward Norton sells out like few actors have sold out before - starring as The Incredible Hulk in a craven attempt to revive the franchise that even Ang Lee couldn’t jumpstart. [Variety]
Jesse Metcalfe, he of the wooden line readings and voluptuous man-rack, becomes the latest twentysomething celeb to indulge in Rehab Chic… [Just Jared]
…while his former Desperate Housewives co-stud James Denton shells out seven figures for a baseball team. That’s an awfully audacious display of job security for someone who spent most of this season in a coma. [TMZ]
A suicidal six new movies open nationwide this weekend, and the Adam Sandler vehicle is the best-reviewed one. Shudder. [Rottentomatoes]
Goya’s Ghosts hasn’t even been released in the U.S. yet, but the geek fanboys are already drooling over Natalie Portman’s character’s nude torture scenes. You can turn your attention back to BSG, boys: It’s a body double. [IESB.net]
We were asleep at the switch during Tranny Annie’s latest stunt (why Ms. Coulter, we LOVE the way your Adam’s apple trembles when you say “faggot!”). All we could think about is how awesome it would be if super-dreamy John Edwards were gay. Here, Aaron Shure makes a good case for Coulter as the real-life Borat. Meanwhile, in London, a naked Daniel Radcliffe goes on trial for blinding six Ann Coulters in Equus. [Huffington Post]
Royal rapscallions Wills and Harry have fun with the QE2 voicemail. Poor Liz - first Helen Mirren, now this! [Monsters and Critics]
America loves gay panic jokes! Faced with the option of seeing Wild Hogs, a star vehicle for John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and Tim Allen, audiences decided that three wrongs, in this case, make a right. Reviews site an overwhelming reliance on comic “misunderstandings” that cause Travolta, Lawrence, Allen and William H. Macy’s characters to be mistaken for (the horror!) gays. Between this and his upcoming drag role in Hairspray, Revolta’s closet issues are writ large in multiplexes this year. In this case, they also kicked the ass of David Fincher’s Zodiac, which is A) brilliant and B) features much hotter actors. Go figure. [Box Office Mojo]
Mush-mouthed mattressback Claire Danes has apparently ditched Billy Crudup for her Evening co-star Hugh Dancy (best known for getting rogered to death by the Wax Figure Formerly Known as Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct II). Twinkalicious Hugh apparently developed a rep for making out with his male colleagues (including author Michael Cunningham) during the production. We guess the “gay boyfriend” pushpin that Mary-Louise Parker squeezed into her Claire voodoo doll has apparently taken effect. [New York Daily News]
Once-promising Evan Rachel Wood continues her ride on the Christina Ricci Express to Hasbeenville. She’s following a string of underwhelming edgy indies by dating Marilyn Manson. [JustJared]
Yep, we’d throw it in Hayden Christensen. Especially with his new “Johnny goin’ off to war” hairdo. [Perez Hilton]
I have literally nothing to add to the Michael Richards racial-rampage-at-The Laugh Factory imbroglio. Except that it kind of reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where everything in Jerry’s life evens out. In this case, Julia Louis-Dreyfus wins an Emmy for a successful new sitcom, and a former co-star becomes immediately blacklisted after a bizarre, racist on-stage tirade. Word is Richards apologizes on tonight’s Letterman, on which Jerry Seinfeld was already scheduled as a guest. [TMZ]
Yay! Veronica Mars will have time to figure out the identity of the douchebag who keeps raping everybody and shaving their heads! Seven more episodes also means seven more opportunities for the adorably troubled Logan (Jason Dohring) to take off his shirt. [Zap2It]
Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh - who haven’t made a movie worth seeing twice since Heavenly Creatures, in my opinion - whine to their fans about their nasty split with semi-studio New Line Cinema. I don’t find this particularly interesting, but some of you geeks out there might. [The One Ring]
Sorry for the lack of updates this week, kids. We’re adjusting to the pleasant shock of a Democrat-controlled Congress, and the schadenfreude coma has left us asleep at our computers.
But how’s this for a November surprise? On Election Day, Warner released Thou Shalt Laugh, a new concert DVD showcase of Christian stand-up comedians. You know, the unfunny kind. It makes me think of that old Simpsons episode in which Rod and Todd Flanders tell their father that they won’t be going to church, and when Ned asks why, they respond, “It’s Saturday!” Expect the humor to be about at that level. Luckily, professional Christian Patricia Heaton took time off from her new career of fellating stem cells in order to act as hostess. Can my eyeballs stop bleeding now? [thoushaltlaugh.com]
I’ve long considered Ashley Judd to be one of Hollywood’s most unsung Batshit Crazy Celebs. Her repellent account of visiting sister Wynonna in the loony bin and deciding she just had to be bipolar as well - tearfully recounted in the pages of Redbook or some equivalent chick rag - was a real low point. (Along with, of course, De-Lovely.) After her whacked-out appearance on The View yesterday, others are starting to agree. [Datalounge]
That decades-rumored remake of The Women starring Smegma Ryan once again threatens to crawl out of development hell. Meg, we think it’s cute that you still employ a publicist, but can you ask her to let this cruel joke die already? [Dark Horizons]
