Archive for the 'Famous PEN15s' Category

A note on Knight

Published by Rob on March 31, 2008 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 4 Comments

We’ve always been pretty nice to T.R. Knight. We defended him in the Great Isaiah Washington War, wept for him when Luke McFarlane went bounding into the arms of Wentworth Miller, and didn’t make a peep during his pink hair phase.

But now it’s gone too far. When T.R., who recently turned 35, started rolling up with an unfamous eyebrow-tweezer named Mark Cornelsen, we thought, “Good for him. He’s moving on. Yes, it’s with someone who looks suspiciously like what we think his nephew might look like, but still.” Then we found out that Mark is 19.

And we got a little grossed out because, you know, some 19-year-olds are hot (Michael Cera) but most ostensibly hot 19-year-olds are actually pretty lame (Zac Efron), and even if one of the hot, mature-for-his-age 19-year-olds had a thing for us, we’d say “No thank you,”* because 1) We’re not Jack Nicholson and 2) Ugh. And we’re only 26.

T.R. and Mark were last spotted “house hunting,” according to Just Jared. That could mean T.R. is in the market for new digs and just dragged Mark along. Or it could mean that Mark is taking advantage of the depressed market to become an unusually youthful homeowner.

But we fear it means that they’re moving in together. To which we say, “Beware, T.R.” At least when Martha Raye and Terry McMillan got swindled by young gay golddiggers, we got to laugh at them for their naivete and lack of gaydar. This would just be sad.

*Michael Cera, if you’re reading this, please disregard this entire paragraph.

T.R. Knight: We all have AIDS [JustJared]

How to destroy your modeling career in 9 months

Published by Rob on January 16, 2008 in Career Suicide, Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 2 Comments

When it comes to hating Matthew McConaughey, we’ve never been prone to mincing words.

So it was with customary horror that we accepted today’s news that M Squared is becoming a daddy. And, you know, acknowledging it. And ruining the future of a perfectly nice-looking 24-year-old model in the process.

There are a number of things we find offensive about McConaughey: His propensity for dropping the “g” in every gerund he uses (see his official babydaddy statement, in which he refers to the fetus “growin’ in [Alves’] womb”); the fact that he hasn’t even attempted to appear in a good movie in at least six years; and the extreme pleasure he appears to take in his own physique, to the point where its overexposure causes us to question everything we thought we understood and admired about the male form.

For these reasons and many more (dude, at 38, it’s time to lose the Blue Lagoon hairdo) we fear for this child every bit as much as we fear for whatever flotsam emerges from a Spears family birth canal.

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves expecting first child [Celebrity Baby Blog]

MVP(en15): James Marsden

Published by Rob on December 5, 2007 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 3 Comments

Every so often, an actor whom you’d written off as a generic pretty boy surprises you with hidden reserves of talent. Usually, this happens through a series of rigorous performances in gritty independent dramas (see Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt).

James Marsden has gone about it another way, by turning out to be a completely charming PG-rated song and dance man - albeit one who, well into his thirties, can still rock a super-hot black-and-white photo shoot.

Marsden was so dreamy as Corny Collins, the Denny Terrio-style Baltimore TV host, in Hairspray, that he singlehandedly threw off the equilibrium of the plot by making Zac Efron look like the skinny Kristy McNichol lookalike that he is. Why would Tracy be so crazy about Efron’s Linc when the host of the show is cuter, a better singer and dancer, and old enough to have a job?

Marsden, unlike Efron and most of the film’s other marquee names, also wins points for having the balls to perform a number from the movie live on The Today Show. He wasn’t very good, but at least he tried (take that, Miss Travolta!).

And now, he’s at it again, delivering a totally goofy, committed, infectious performance as a clueless Prince Charming in the surprisingly well-crafted Enchanted (which I did indeed pay to see, and yes, there were a lot of other twentysomething gay men in the audience, thankyouverymuch). And while Amy Adams deserves every rave she’s getting as the fish-out-of-water heroine, Marsden is every bit as adept in the musical numbers and as a physical comedian. His prince is supposed to be sweet but a little buffoonish - a lightweight next to Patrick Dempsey (and let’s all pause a minute to consider the outlandishness of that phrase) - but he’s pretty lovable nonetheless.

Prior to these two breakthroughs, Marsden had mostly been relegated to stock roles in franchise blockbusters and leads in indies that nobody saw (although he was very good as a Manhattan closet case in the excellent Heights from 2005). Hopefully now he’ll have more opportunities to show off his talents without being typecast in kiddie fare.

James Marsden Hairspray concert [YouTube]
Image source (NSFW) [iCandy]

Midlife crisis Monday

Published by Rob on October 8, 2007 in Celebs, Famous PEN15s and Waxing Techniques. 3 Comments

Oh, to be a successful, fortysomething multimillionaire with rugged yet carefully manicured good looks at the top of your professional game. Regardless of sexual orientation, when you’ve attained all of your life’s goals and are still sort of young enough to be considered hot, it can lead you to act out in strange ways.

Tom Ford, who famously substituted himself for a balking Rachel McAdams on that cadaver-slab of a Vanity Fair cover, has found yet another opportunity to act out what is apparently every designer’s fantasy: to be a model! In this month’s Out, Tom and his Aging Queen Bikini Brief Tan Line can be seen cavorting in the shower with a couple of naked male models (complete with “macho” towel-snapping!). Does anybody else want to be a fly on the wall during the meetings in which Tom helpfully “offers” to appear, clothed or not, in these fashion spreads?

Halfway to the other end of the Kinsey scale (allegedly), we have Confirmed Bachelor George Clooney, who’s recovering from his recent motorcycle accent with his former reality show contestant girlfriend (and really, what says Heterosexual Midlife Crisis louder than that?). George is likely to eventually bankrupt poor Michelle Pfeiffer with the marriage-and-kids bet they made while shooting One Fine Day more than a decade ago. What Michelle doesn’t understand is that a settled-down George will never have the appeal of George the Model-Dating Playboy Who Has Probably Let Scott Caan Go Down on Him Once or Twice.*

*We like to imagine.

Tom Ford is a towel snapper [Towleroad]
George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer raise the stakes [Starpulse]

Short circuit party

Published by Rob on October 1, 2007 in Career Suicide, Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 1 Comment

In the biggest Guttenberg-related literary development since the invention of the printing press, ’80s comedy star Steve Guttenberg emerged from his Mystic tanning booth long enough to tell Ben Widdicombe that he’s been asked to write a memoir. Like, for people to buy and read.

When a has-been this vanilla descends from planet Loser Dust to regale us with his life story, it can only mean one thing: He’s finally coming out of the closet. Guttenberg’s penchant for the man-sex is no secret. I mean, take a look at this photo.

We just can’t wait to hear the story of how he had to beg to convince Ron Howard that he was butch enough to play the sexy youngster in Cocoon.

Guttenberg knows the ropes [NY Daily News]

PEN15 Drippings: Exposed Prick Edition

Published by Rob on September 12, 2007 in Bitches, Career Suicide, Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 3 Comments

eastern-promises-trlr1.jpgFull frontal male nudity is all the rage (again), with Viggo Mortensen leading the charge in Eastern Promises this weekend. I love it when gay directors use their clout with A-list hotties to expose them for the greater good. Thank you, David Cronenberg! [New York Observer]

Apparently when Ja Rule said “Every thug needs a lady,” he meant to imply, “and not another thug, because homosexuality is what’s ruining America’s children, and not an increasingly bankrupt hip hop culture that promotes canned fetishization of bling and ass over artistic innovation and self-expression.” [Queerty]

Kind of old news, but I had to give a shout-out to the fact that every pederast’s favorite pundit, Bill Donohue of the Catholic League, has his panties in a twist over Kathy Griffin’s hilarious Emmy speech, in which she was, for the record, not making fun of religion itself, but of self-absorbed, faux-pious celebrities that invoke it in on the awards show podium. Not that there’s anything wrong with making fun of religion itself, Godboy. [AP]

Out-aholism

Published by Rob on July 12, 2007 in Celebs, Famous PEN15s and Politics. 0 Comments

shemar.jpgIt’s been a good week for the (sometimes literal) denuding of public figures’ homosexuality. Just as we’ve gotten our pulses back to normal in the wake of Perez Hilton’s ongoing coverage of the Wentworth Miller/Luke McFarlane* relationship, we have those yummy (NSFW) Shemar Moore** nude beach photos and the hilarious men’s room shenanigans of Rep. Bob Allen (from the appropriately wang-shaped state of Florida), a McCain campaign co-chair.

I love how Presidential elections always seem to precipitate the outing of sweaty Republican closet cases. More to come in ‘08, please!

*Would anyone know who Luke was if it weren’t for his high-profile boyfriends? He’s like the gay Angie Everhart.

**How gay is the picture of Shemar above? He looks like he’s about to guest star on a very special episode of Noah’s Arc.

Who wants to see Shemar Moore naked? [Perez Hilton]
Florida Rep. Bob Allen to discuss men’s room activities [Towleroad]

Ralph’s 50-load weekend

Published by Rob on March 6, 2007 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 0 Comments

ralph_fiennes_qantas.jpgJust a week or so after we’d recovered from that Qantas stewardess’ extremely graphic account of joining the kilometer-high club with sexy-pasty Ralph Fiennes, the British actor has gone and frolicked nude in a hotel pool with four comely lasses. Which means that, on the set of the upcoming film In Bruges, Fiennes is the Official Poonhound Movie Star plundering the locals in his insantiable quest for ‘tang, and the movie co-stars Colin Farrell.

Fiennes spent the last several years in a relationship with a 60-something woman (not Helen Mirren), so it’s no wonder he feels the urge to dip his wick in the available (and in the stewardess’ case, somewhat cheap and crusty) ink. Unfortunately, we find both The End of the Affair and The English Patient far less romantic because of this.
Fiennes caught in ‘pool romp’ [IMDb]
Air stewardess: Secrets of my five mile-high sex romp with Ralph Fiennes [Daily Mail]

You oughta know that your ex-fiance pings like crazy

Published by Rob on February 5, 2007 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 2 Comments

rthjbd.jpgCanuck supercouple Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds have called it quits on their way to the altar. For reals, this time (it’s been reported before).

We extend our regrets to Alanis, the past-her-prime chanteuse, and to Ryan, the cut-from-marble, somewhat gayvoice-afflicted star of B-list action and comedy films.

If I were a straight woman, I too would have reservations about marrying a guy whose #3 search result on Google Images is this (not particularly SFW). As a gay guy, I say, “Woo hoo! Van Wilder is free at last! Bring it ON, eh?”

Alanis: It’s over [Sky Showbiz]

Hayden will do anything to convince us he’s straight

Published by Rob on January 31, 2007 in Career Suicide, Celebs, Famous PEN15s and Films. 0 Comments

artnetnews1-17-3.jpgAnd Harvey Weinstein will do anything to create publicity for Factory Girl in the wake of a disastrous series of late-inning reshoots and a stillborn Oscar campaign for Sienna Miller (insert air-wank motion here).
Now Haydenstein is floating the idea that the sex scene in which Sienna’s Edie Sedgwick and Hayden’s Bob Dylan-like character do it was actual, unsimulated coitus. Between Hayden Christensen. And a woman.

I realize that, with lousy reviews from the few critics who’ve seen the only recently-finalized version, Factory Girl is going to have a hard time competing at art houses when it opens outside L.A. this Friday. And Hayden will take any chance he can get to convince folks he’s all about the pussy.

But in the process, they’re sullying the good name of a serious actress and respectable young lady. Oh, wait - for a second, I forgot we were talking about Sienna Miller. Carry on.

‘Factory’ is seen as fully unionized [New York Daily News]