Archive for the 'Famous PEN15s' Category

Is that your Quidditch broom or are you just trying to get tickets to “Equus?”

Published by Rob on January 29, 2007 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 2 Comments

danhorse.jpgThese press shots of the London revival of Equus have surfaced, and if you thought the production was going to be shy about selling barely-legal star Daniel Radcliffe’s body (yes folks, there’s nudity), think again.

I always rolled my eyes when people joked about counting down till Radcliffe’s 18th birthday (which, eek, doesn’t happen until July), but now it’s hard not to sympathize. I realize Peter Shaffer’s play represents a juicy opportunity for Radcliffe to show that he can play more than just Harry Potter, but this headlong leap into sex symbol status could turn his career in an unexpected direction. Think Lohan, but a boy, and British.

Or he could just be announcing himself as a serious actor to watch, a la Christian Bale. And, like Christian Bale, an actor to watch in as little clothing as possible. Ugh, writing that felt so creepy. I’d like to go see Equus - but can I wear an invisibility cloak?

New ‘Equus’ press shots [Datalounge]
‘Equus’ official site

Justica storms Sundance; it was only a matter of time

Published by Rob on January 26, 2007 in Bitches, Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 2 Comments

b_004.jpgPublicists, there’s really no surer way to make your client look gay than to plant back-to-back stories about him hooking up with Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel within a matter of weeks. Not that Justin Timberlake pings to me in any significant way - it’s just that ditching Cameron Diaz for the women that Esquire Magazine named the world’s sexiest in ‘05 and ‘06 seems either a complete act of fantasy or an incredibly callous way to diss your elderly ex.

Poor Cameron is probably crying into her Proactiv and slowly chanting, “At least The Holiday did well overseas…”

Hey, and did you know that they also show movies at Sundance?

Biel visits Justin at Sundance; World braces for Cameron sh-tfit [US Weekly]

Who’s the Bossy power bottom?

Published by Jordan on January 6, 2007 in Anal, Celebs, Famous PEN15s, PEN15s and TV. 6 Comments

dannypIt’s the one story that Perez Hilton can’t scoop because he’s not one for irony and it would be like pot calling the rosebud dewy.

Perhaps there’s a time in every gay child star’s life where he actually thinks people forget what he looks like, and that he might be able to get away with posting nude pictures of himself on a m4m hookup site (links NSFW). But did little Danny Pintauro really expect all of us gays to not recognize those vacant doe eyes, magnificent dimples, and partially obscured Danza. No sir!

I for one recall having a terrible crush on young Jonathan Bower way back when Judith Light had a full head of glorious hair. And before you call me a pervert, keep in mind that I was actually younger than Jonathan Bower at the time. But it’s so nice to know that the lad has grown to fill out a jock strap so nicely! I do feel bad, however, that he’s not off jet setting around with a somewhat elderly, rich, tanning bed queen, and is instead trolling adam4adam for action, but at least we know he’s not spending all his residuals getting his chest waxed.

It does baffle me that he didn’t make a reference to his stint on Circus of the Stars in the personal ad. Maybe if he highlighted his trapeze skills, he’d have a better response rate.

He’s the Boss? [Pink is the New Blog]
Perez Hilton Exposed [Faded Youth]

Shot into the back of my throat and down my esophagus, not stirred.

Published by Jordan on November 29, 2006 in Celebs, Famous PEN15s, Films, News and Rants. 4 Comments

Daniel Craig Nude1-ThumbContact Music, the only news source more reliable than the batshit crazy homeless lesbian outside of the Dunkin’ Donuts at the end of my street, reports that Daniel Craig is interested in filming a gay bond scene, possibly complete with full-frontal nudity.

[Note: While the report does not specify whether it is he that wants to be involved in the gay scene, we’re going to work under that assumption because, well, it lends itself better to this post.]

Said Craig, “Why not? I think in this day and age, fans would have accepted it. I mean, look at (British TV series) Doctor Who - that has had gay scenes in it and no one blinks an eye,” a statement he quickly followed with several eye blinks.

Daniel. Listen. We were really okay with what you gave us: tight blue go-go boy swim trunks, shoulders that should be covered in A1 and devoured, and a nude scene in which you taunt a fey villain into repeatedly whipping you with the world’s largest anal bead. It’s kind of you to offer, but you must understand that your unattainability is what makes us fags love you. Because if you were gay, clearly you would be within the realm of attainability. You would join the ranks of Jack Nasty and Anderson Cooper, and we won’t be allowed to talk about you on DataLounge anymore!

James Bond wouldn’t be James Bond if he weren’t sponged in pussy galore, swimming in Octopussy, and always guzzling ‘tang. If he occasionally passed on the poon to get to know Rimmy l’Anus, he’d just be plain’ ol Daniel Craig.

As for the full frontal, by all means. Don’t let me hold you back on that one.

Craig Wants Gay Bond Scene [Contact Music] via Towleroad

Yawn

Published by Rob on November 15, 2006 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 4 Comments

george_clooney.jpgHey look, everybody! George Clooney is the latest male celebrity to come out of the closet via a sensitively rendered People Magazine cover story!

Oh wait. They’re just giving him Sexiest Man Alive again.

This will have to hold us until the inevitable Matt Dallas coming out cover.

But as for Clooney - Sexiest Man Alive? Really? He looks every second of his 45 years in that shot. How many times did Jake Gyllenhaal say no?

George Clooney named People’s Sexiest Man Alive [People.com]

An open letter to Ryan Phillippe

Published by Rob on October 30, 2006 in Career Suicide, Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 2 Comments

ryan.jpgDear Ryan,

We regret to share in the sad news of your separation from America’s sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon. Our hearts go out to your celebrity wombfruit, the trendily-but-not-too-trendily named Ava and Deacon, and we look forward to the onslaught of laughing-through-tears cover profiles of Reese the Single Mom in People Magazine.

Also, we should tell you that we never believed your marriage was failing because Reese is an Oscar-winning, $20 million-per-picture star, and you’re just the pouty guy who shows his ass in every movie. We’ve always insisted that your marriage was doomed because anybody with CSL (cock-sucking lips) like yours should not be stuck with a woman. Even if that woman’s stranglehold over Hollywood’s A list has Julia Roberts crying into her salt lick.

Ryan, you almost always star in terrible movies. Even when you appeared in a Best Picture winner, it was the lousiest Best Picture winner since Tom Hanks drooled all over his box of chocolates. In fact, we haven’t gotten around to seeing you in Flags of Our Fathers yet, because A) it looks kind of boring, B) we hear there’s no nudity and C) we’re sure to be disappointed when we realize you’re not going to have a makeout scene with Jesse Bradford. But that doesn’t mean you can’t put asses in the seats. You just have to show yours.

So cheer up, Ryan. Sure, you’ve lost your meal ticket. But you also have the opportunity to step out of the Missus’ long, pointy-chinned shadow. I suggest you get back to your roots, drop your pants, and play a coke-addicted porn star/hustler in an indie drama by an ambitious young director. And if that project does give you the chance to swap spit with Jesse, then so much the better.

Wettest and warmest kisses,

The PEN15 Club

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe split [TMZ]

Conflicted over Reichen rape

Published by Rob on October 23, 2006 in Anal, Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 0 Comments

Reichen-Lehmkuhl-1 Content to be chiefly known as Lance Bass’ arm candy no more, Reichen has opened up (tee hee) about the sexual assault he suffered at the hands of his fellow cadets while in the Air Force Academy.

What’s the occasion for the former Richard’s sudden disclosure? In his unwieldily titled new tome, Here’s What We’ll Say: Growing Up, Coming Out, and the U.S. Air Force Academy, Reichen says that his “shame” has kept him from revealing the secret until now. That, and the fact that he hadn’t had a book to promote. Once you’ve starred in a beefcake calendar in which you’re cupping your entire junk with one driving-glove-covered hand, we’re pretty sure “shame” becomes a non-issue.

Our sympathy goes out to Big R as it would to any other sex abuse survivor, but it’s all over but the cryin’ at Datalounge, where they boys can’t decide whether Herr Lehmkuhl is courageous or an opportunist (it’s possible to be both).

We’re just glad Lance finally has an explanation as to why Reichen recoils when they touch, and wakes up screaming in the night. As to why he can occasionally be heard weeping softly and saying, “Why couldn’t I have Justin instead?”, well, that’s a question for the ages.

Lance’s pal: Assaulted at AF Academy [NY Daily News]

Reichen raped [Datalounge]

Who knew T.R. stood for “Top, reciprocating?”

Published by Rob on October 19, 2006 in Celebs, Famous PEN15s and TV. 5 Comments

Tr Knight2 An honest-to-God “good for you” to T.R. Knight - Grey’s Anatomy’s second least-attractive male cast member - for coming out of the closet today. We feel genuine gratitude to hear it from a marketable young(ish) actor playing a straight character on a TV drama at the height of its popularity. Remember, we live in a culture where it’s only acceptable for female stars of cancelled sitcoms to come out.

This, of course, makes Isaiah Washington look like an asshole. Remember how he allegedly referred to T.R.’s homo-liness during his famous boyfight with Patrick Dempsey?

We wish Knight the best, and we hope his courage inspires others in his situation - *cough* Neil Patrick *cough* Harris - to follow suit.

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ star T.R. Knight confirms he’s gay [People.com]

Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington’s on-set dust-up [People.com]

Rudd puddle

Published by Rob on October 12, 2006 in Celebs and Famous PEN15s. 1 Comment

paul.jpgWhen we were bitching and moaning about that twat Fergie being on the cover of this month’s Rolling Stone (the “hot” issue), why didn’t somebody tell us that this photo of Paul Rudd was inside? The magazine should come with its own gym sock.

We love the faux-sleazy, “I’m making fun of my own sexiness, but God damn I am sexy” vibe that Paul’s got goin’ on here.

The man has dropped those Friends-era el-bees and is looking hotter than ever. We can’t blame Cher Horowitz for jumping his bones at the end of Clueless. Christ, we’d climb all over Rudd if he was our biological brother.

We were glad that Paul’s funny turns in Anchorman and The 40-Year-Old Virgin gave his career a shot in the arm, but feared that he would settle into pasty/chubby/funny character actor status. Now, thanks to the magic of Photoshop, those fears have been allayed.

To paraphrase your Wet Hot American Summer character, Paul, you could taste like a burger, and we would still like you. A lot. More, come to think of it.

The title of Paul’s next movie, I Could Never Be Your Woman, is sounding all too appropriate. Sigh.

2nd fiddle to Julia Roberts no more [Broadway.com]

SchadenBOYde

Published by Jordan on October 3, 2006 in Famous PEN15s, News and Politics. 5 Comments

FoleyscreenshotI gotta be honest with you. I feel bad for the younguns and all, but whenever an anti-gay Republican politician gets popped for fucking around with underaged dudes, for me it’s like suckling on the swollen teat of Mary Mother of God. Really. Few things give me more satisfaction, except for having awesome cybersex with a 16-year-old student council president. But you know what I mean.

Day by day the Representative Mark Foley scandal gets worse. It’s like watching Michelle Rodriguez perform. At first, it’s pretty bad. Then, it gets worse. And right when you think it can’t possibly get any worse, there’s a crying and/or orgasm scene. Foley’s scandal has unfolded like a copy of the New York Post that someone shat in and folded back up. I already can’t wait what tomorrow brings!

Let’s recap, shall we?

First, the media obtains emails sent by Foley to underage male pages suggesting an overly friendly relationship with the young men. Foley’s people claim that asking the boys for their photos is standard practice, even after they complete the page program.

Then, instant messages between Foley and the boys surface, suggesting that the relationship was more than overly friendly; it was downright dirty. In fact, reading through the transcripts rang reminiscent of many confessional exchanges I had with clergy back in my Catholic days.

Follow that up with the admission of some in the Republican leadership that they knew of the possible threat that Foley posed over a year ago, while Foley checks himself into rehab. Don’t you hate it when you drink too much and turn all pedophile-y?

And finally, today. More instant message transcripts appear in the hands of the media featuring a censored (but undoubtedly steamy) cybersex conversation between Fogey — err, Foley — and a strapping young lad. Later, Foley admits to being gay and also to have been molested by clergy when he himself was a teen, events which apparently always go hand-in-hand.

The only disappointment of the entire scenario is the fact that the media censored the cyersex conversation. But guess what! The PEN15 Club obtained an unmolested copy of the transcript, which we will reprint for your reading enjoyment:

Maf54: I miss you

Teen: ya me too

Maf54: we are still voting

Maf54: you miss me too

Teen: Yeah. Like a 16-year-old misses kissing his grandma.

Maf54: I like it when u talk like that. See? I type ‘u’ instead of ‘you.’ How hip am I?!?!

Teen: LOL. You bring new meaning to ‘hip replacement.’

Maf54: U hard? Measure yourself for me.

Teen: A solid foot-and-a-half of swingin’ death, grandpa. What u gonna do about it?

Maf54: fhjadsklfhjsdkfl;ajdkfal;j!!!!!!!!!

Maf54: Nothing now. That was so much better than doing my wife. U finish?

Teen: Yeah. Whoopdedoo. Yehaw. Whatever you say.

Maf54: Isn’t this internet great?! We can have this relationship secretly with no way for anyone to find out about our love for each other.

Teen: Yeah. It’s Fort Fucking Knox.

Maf54: ok..i better go vote..did you know you would have this effect on me

Teen: lol I guessed

Teen: ya go vote…I don’t want to keep you from doing our job

Maf54: can I have a good kiss goodnight

Teen: :-*

Teen: <kiss>

New Foley Instant Message: Had Internet Sex While Awaiting House Vote [ABC News]

Instant Message Obtained by ABC News Cast Doubt on Claims from Foley’s Lawyer [ABC News]

Andy Towle’s continuing coverage [Towleroad]