The CW (and let me just re-iterate that there are so many terrible things that C and that W could stand for) has lost faith in my beloved Veronica Mars. The show is nowhere to be found on the semi-network’s fall schedule. Farewell, Veronica, and sorry you wasted so much of your final season solving the boring case of who killed Dean Ed Begley, Jr. What’s especially sad is that the net didn’t take to creator Rob Thomas’ flash-forward “Veronica of the Lambs” idea, which could have been cool.
All of the networks announced their fall schedules this week, and I can’t say I’m looking forward to any of the newbies (particularly NBC and ABC’s respective five-years-behind-the-zeitgeist Sex and the City ripoffs, Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia). And the fact that ABC has ordered a half-hour version of the Geico caveman ads strikes me as one of the four-horseman-style forewarnings of the apocalypse.
On a completely unrelated note, Jake Gyllenhaal, Chloe Sevigny and Mark Ruffalo looked fantastic at the Cannes screening of another brilliant yet underseen crime drama, Zodiac. Jake apparently teased reporters with the news that he, Chloe and Mark once took a nap together during the production.
So now all I can say is that I’m picturing Jake and Mark spooning. Don’t. Tease us. Gyllenhaal.
The CW cancels ‘Veronica Mars’ [Yahoo!]
Jake Gyllenhaal @Cannes ‘Zodiac’ premiere [JustJared]
Today marks 10 years since Ellen DeGeneres made history by having her character come out of the closet in the infamous “Puppy Episode” ofEllen. This is amazing to me - I vividly remember tuning in to the hour-long sweeps event, with its many guest stars (Demi Moore! Gina Gershon!) and all the surrounding hoopla: the Newsweek cover, the PDA with Anne Heche, the gargantuan ratings followed by a quick slide into ignominy, as the sitcom was cancelled a year later and Will & Graceappeared in the fall of ‘98.
It’s hard to fathom now in the wake of Finding Nemo, the AMEX campaign and her Friendly Daytime Talk Show, but Ellen really stuck her neck out and took one for the team. Yet at the time, she was accused - bizarrely - of exploiting the revelation to further her career. Recently, while interviewing Laura Dern on her talk show, DeGeneres casually mentioned that she was persona non grata for three years after Ellen was cancelled, and even Dern (who guest-starred as the woman who coaxes DeGeneres’ TV alter ego out of the closet) admitted that her phone didn’t ring for a year and a half after the episode.
10 years later, Matthew Rhys and Jason Lewis can make out on Brothers & Sisters, actors playing straight characters can come out of the closet, and the sight of two women flirting harmlessly at a Rickie Lee Jones concert is hardly enough to raise serious hackles. So with all the progress that’s yet to be made, let’s take a moment and tip our hats to Ellen.
Laura Dern talks about ‘The Puppy Episode’ [YouTube]
Rosie, dear. For my birthday, I asked for you to make Elizabeth Hasselbeck cry. But now I realize I should have been more specific. Because I didn’t mean tears of joy. And I didn’t mean by leaving the show. Way to ruin the first quarter-century of my LIFE Rosie! Gosh!
In all seriousness, it’s kind of sad to see televisions most fantastically drama-laden show lose the one thing that didn’t suck about it. In her year-long tenure, Rosie was able to drive ratings through the roof and crack walnuts in Hasselbeck’s tightly clenched ass cheeks. She caused Trumpgate, Chingchongate, Murdochgate, and Generalmeanlesbiangate. She gave us something more interesting to search for on YouTube than “teen boy in boxer briefs flexing muscles.” Oh, Rosie!
The only thing happier than Hasselbitch and Rosie’s seat cushion has got to be Babs herself, who will no longer be called out on her WASPy two-facedness on the air. Because everyone the only thing more important than ratings is making sure you can still call in a threesome with Trump and Murdoch.
Au revoir, Rosie. I expect you to spend your newfound free time launching more gay family cruises to countries that, uh, hate gay families. Meanwhile, I’m going to bury my sorrow in… cake.
O’Donnell leaving ‘The View’ [CNN]
So Joan and Melissa have been booted off the TV Guide Channel, their safety red-carpet outlet after having been bounced from E! (where they were initially supplanted by Miss Star Jones Reynolds).
What a burn…and to be replaced by harelipped has-been Lisa Rinna, who rode a couple of years on The Bold and the Beautiful and a marriage to equally lame ’80s throwback Harry Hamlin to inexplicable semi-fame. It must really hurt.
Old Joan may be past her prime, as her recent Bravo special illustrated, but for better or worse, she is the founding Grande Dame of Red Carpet Mania, and should be treated with some respect in that regard. And as much as I used to disdain Melissa for being a talentless, dogfaced opportunist, compared to the E!-vil Giuliana dePandi and Ryan Seacrest, her Rabelaisian wit is a credit to the medium of television.
Bottom line: We know a few old-school homos who are going to be pretty upset about this news. Meanwhile, Joan’s blog hints at forthcoming revenge, and I for one can’t wait for it.
Joan & Melissa replaced by ‘Dancing’ fembot [TMZ]
Stay tuned for new news [Joan Rivers Blog]
What is it with gawky twinks this week? Just as America anoints Shia LaBeouf its newest Star Who Can Open a Movie, a lawsuit over a mold infestation has led to the attempted outing of Justin Berfield.
You know, the second-oldest brother on Malcolm in the Middle, the one who you denied having a crush on, but couldn’t help looking up his IMDb page just to make sure that he was 18? (Maybe that was just us.) He’s apparently not only gay but partnered, and the mold problem has driven him into the home of Jessica Simpson (that is one tragic selection of hag, JB).
Better yet, the crafty bitches at Datalounge have dug up Berfield’s bf’s Friendster profile. Which tells us nothing, except that he’s (mon dieu!) 30 and prone to Vaseline-slathered glamour shots.
‘Malcolm’ star Justin Berfield gay? [Post Chronicle]
Oh my God, you guys, we’ve been gone for so long and missed so much…please indulge me in a little catch-up…
In the wake of the Don Imus scandal, doesn’t it seem doubly amiss that Isaiah Washington - who not only used a comparably offensive slur, but did it while getting into a fistfight with a co-worker - still has a job at Grey’s Anatomy? Adding insult to injury, the show just won a GLAAD Media Award. Along with Jennifer Aniston (for starring in The Object of My Affection nine years ago?). Thanks for having your priorities straight, GLAAD. I’m sure the argument is that sucking up to big names - regardless of their relevance to actual gay issues - raises the visibility of the fight for equality overall. I, however, call it starfucking bullshit. [GLAAD.org]
Speaking of Grey’s, its upcoming Kate Walsh-centered spinoff features the stunning Chris Lowell, who was playing the adorable Piz on Veronica Mars until he mysteriously disappeared midseason. Oh, and at some point, he apparently ends up in the hospital wearing swim trunks and carrying a surfboard. [JustJared]
Edward Norton sells out like few actors have sold out before - starring as The Incredible Hulk in a craven attempt to revive the franchise that even Ang Lee couldn’t jumpstart. [Variety]
Jesse Metcalfe, he of the wooden line readings and voluptuous man-rack, becomes the latest twentysomething celeb to indulge in Rehab Chic… [Just Jared]
…while his former Desperate Housewives co-stud James Denton shells out seven figures for a baseball team. That’s an awfully audacious display of job security for someone who spent most of this season in a coma. [TMZ]
A suicidal six new movies open nationwide this weekend, and the Adam Sandler vehicle is the best-reviewed one. Shudder. [Rottentomatoes]
Goya’s Ghosts hasn’t even been released in the U.S. yet, but the geek fanboys are already drooling over Natalie Portman’s character’s nude torture scenes. You can turn your attention back to BSG, boys: It’s a body double. [IESB.net]
Published by Rob on February 21, 2007
in Celebs and TV.
Heterosexual actress Marcia Cross welcomed twin baby girls into the world yesterday. And check out the names: Savannah and Eden! If Julia Roberts erred on the Dickensian side by naming her twins Phinneaus and Hazel, Marcia seems to want to send the girls straight from Gymboree to the stripper pole.
We do, however, admire the elderly mom’s work ethic: Remember those climactic scenes from last week’s Desperate Housewives, when Dixie Carter tried to poison Bree and then drown her? They were shot in Marcia’s very own bedroom. The fact that the writers had to wrap up Bree’s season storyline in order to accommodate Marcia’s wombfruit sucks a little bit, as it means less screentime for Carter and the delectably nutty Valerie Mahaffey. But on the bright side, it also means we get to spend less time looking at Kyle MacLachlan’s hair.
Exclusive: Marcia Cross welcomes twin girls [People]
Paul McCartney’s single-legged ex-wife Heather Mills is going to be on next season’s “Dancing with the Stars.” Our prediction is that she’ll be the first contestant ever to be eliminated in the Hokey Pokey round.
“The song told me to put my left leg in, and I just panicked!” Mills will claim.
Mills to compete on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ [CNN]
Published by Rob on January 31, 2007
in News and TV.
You’re telling me the reason my 12-minute subway commute was stretched to half an hour this morning was because some trigger-happy homeland security bureaucrat mistook a Cartoon Network outdoor ad campaign for a group of strategically placed bombs?
Our city’s cool quotient is threatened enough simply by the existence Boston College without having to deal with costly, embarrassing government gaffes and hysterical outbursts of rudderless security mom-ism like this one.
Truly, the age of Constant Hypervigilance has entered its absurd, self-parodic third act. I guess the cops up here eschew Adult Swim in favor of Law & Order reruns on TNT.
Attack of the Mooninites [Boston.com]
